Husband feeling insecure after my weight loss and minor makeover?

Sooo I had a baby 10 months ago.. I’ve just lost not even all of the baby weight but some and am starting to fit into normal clothes. I’m 35 and have had 2 children., I’m stressed and noticing over the years of being a mom and the weight gain and aging has caused me to look a little different.. so I’ve taken some minor steps like getting Botox, extensions getting my hair fixed, and buying some new clothes. I also did get lip injections a very small dose.. you can barely even tell,. And a while ago I got my teeth fixed with veneers, last year. Something has happened where he sees this improvements to be threatening to him.. never a babe you look beautiful I’m so lucky to have a beautiful wife.. no but instead it’s like “who are you trying to impress” “why are you doing these things” “is there something going on I should know about” … just so so so insecure.. I do not understand it and it’s making me so sad! Why can’t he just see it as a fun thing I’m doing to make myself feel beautiful… what do I do? The nagging and mean jokes have been going on for months and I feel like it’s getting worse.. it’s driving is apart and that makes me sad. He’s the love of my life! These things are to feel good about myself and hopefully make him more attracted to me,.. it’s backfiring. Any advice ? Do I make myself more unattractive to like make him feel secure again?

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

You need to actually, seriously talk. This would be a good contender for couples' counselling.

He probably thinks that you can get any man you want now and feels inferior and so is picking on you as a result. This is ignoring the fact you're with him because you WANT to be and if you wanted to leave you already would have.

But like, this requires communication and calm serious communication rather than blowing at him when he drops another shitty comment because that will probably just prove his insecurities right.

LamontCranston · M

@CountScrofula Another worthwhile recommendation. Not everyone is good at expressing themselves well. Having the mediating influence of a counsellor will facilitate getting at real concenrns, including your own.

midnightrose · F

If he was happy with you before you lost the weight and got the make-over he probably doesn't understand your desire to change, especially if he's also gained weight and looking older. People can get weird if they feel like somebody is moving forward/improving themselves without them. He may be worried about you getting attention from other men now that you're improving yourself or that you might lose interest in him if he's not keeping pace with you.

Changes in habits can be a sign of cheating. Not always but it is one of those things that often happens so he may be seeing these changes and got that in his head. Not sure how you can reassure him other than tell him that it's to feel good about yourself and that you're not trying impress anybody except him. Also set some boundaries with him when he talks down to you because that shouldn't be happening. There are many helpful articles on how to set boundaries, what it is and isn't.