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TRANS-SPECIES MAN WHO IDENTIFIES AS A SQUIRREL ARRESTED FOR TWO 20-TON PEANUT TRUCK HEISTS

A trans-species man who lives in the woods as a squirrel was arrested this morning by deputies of the Bacon County Sheriff’s Department for hijacking two trucks containing more than twenty tons of peanuts each, back in October.
49-year old Barry Wilde is a well known trans-species activist who spends most of his time living the life of a squirrel in a 460 acres wooded area that his parents own in central Georgia.

Although he claims to live off the land by eating wild fruits, mushrooms and pine nuts, he’s accused of complementing his food supply with more than 42 ton of peanuts, stolen during two violent heists near Macon in Georgia on October 14 and 16.

Deputy Eric Smith of the Bacon County Sheriff’s Department, says more than twenty tons of nuts were found on the property where Mr. Wilde lived.

“We found two huge heaps of peanuts during our search of the property. We believe he may have already buried half of it in his preparation for winter, as a squirrel would.”
Mr. Smith says the accused borrowed a car, a rifle and two pistols from his parent’s home without their knowledge, and used them to hijack two trucks filled with peanuts at gunpoint.

“Everything used in the robbery can be linked to his parents. Even the rope he used to tie up the drivers was bought by his mother just days before the crimes for their home’s flagpole.”
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