if you can, try to find some professional help. I've seen it happen to someone else, I know it can be crippling when it's bad. Massive love, mate. You are perfect

Try to surround yourself with a lot of body positive stuff. Expand and diversify your idea of what you find beautiful. Look at models or even better, just regular people with conditions out of the ordinary like vitiligo or even mental conditions as they can be an inspiration for breaking the norm. Be aware of your media diet and how beauty, sex in essence, feminine, masculinity, makeup, etc... Are targeted at vunerable populations like yourself to reinforce the idea that you are broken and need their product or advice to be loved. Just develop that awareness of how standardized ideas of beauty are toxic and cause harm.
Also look at depictions of beauty throughout history. Like all the way back to the prehistoric venus of wilendof statues that show thicc women all the way to more modern stuff like paintings by Peter Paul Reubens and Alberto Vargas, classic models like Bettie Page and people into burlesque.
All of that can give you a sense of everything is beautiful to someone.

That's very difficult.. 😐
Does it come from some really bad experience you had where you felt really ugly, maybe when you were younger or a child? I mean maybe you were compared with others or were critized by your looks, by your parents? Or other children? Reviewing your past may help. And trying to accept yourself in the present.. Because liking takes a step forward.

You aren't ugly.... 🙉... . And I don't say it to be nice haha.

I tend to have a different perspective about myself. Like I like how I am, but I know, very well that people have different tastes so I've wondered if certain people really liked me or, like you say, just tried to be nice to me. 🙂
I heard when I was a child that other kids said I was the ugliest girl in the school, so that affected me during those childhood years, didn't want to even look at myself in the mirror..

I think we all suffer this to a degree some feel it worse than others, I struggle every day with it but mine goes back to childhood, I just see it as something I have to live with and take it one day at a time (( hugs )) I know how hard it is