Starting to consider that I have a form of body dysmorphia

In fact I definitely do by definition. I tend to think I'm ugly, I don't apply that adjective to other people but I hate how I look most of the time. To the point where it will really affect my mood and make me feel sad. Really affects my self esteem, if other people tell me the opposite I either don't believe it or I think they're just being nice. I do have times where I feel I look good but I have that core belief still residing internally. Like people will look at me and think "aw he's trying regardless of how he looks".

It sucks, I feel like I don't even wanna turn up to dates sometimes because I feel like if they look dissapointed it'll really hurt. I hate having my picture taken by other people because of it. Anyway just venting and realising.