When you know someone is dying, do you ask their family if you can visit them?

Personally I feel like it puts them on the spot or on edge unless you were very close.

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You are right - it can be an imposition.. much does depend on how close the relationship is. Seriously ill people can struggle and visitors can be tiring..
I'd think we'd have to ask ourselves too.. why do we want to visit.. is it for them or ourselves

pedrohedgerow · 61-69, M

I have known my brother has had cancer for months but it took me months to call him about it.Covid robbed me of any chance to visit him and properly hug and love him in person.

Jeffrey53 · 56-60, M

When both of my parents were on their death bed we turned a lot of people down to visit. They never came around when they were alive.

DoubleRings · F

same - just also cause no one wants to be seen as they are dying. Usually it’s exhausting for them. @Jeffrey53

bijouxbroussard · F

I wouldn’t ask unless we had been close. When my former housemate was in hospice her daughter stopped by and got me so I was at her bedside. I found out later her mother had asked for me. 😞

2ndtimeguy · 61-69, M

When my mother was dying and knew it was anyday we contacted family and close friends and told them they were welcome to see her one last time and was only one day and a few came by others couldnt I think others felt it was family time and didnt want to impose.

DoubleRings · F

@2ndtimeguy Well this is me in a way. They family texted me to say that she was not doing well and they are going to make her comfortable and she will hopefully be able to pass at home. I figured next few days she will pass and they were preparing me for a funeral. But it’s been a while now - over a month, and now I wonder if they were trying to say “hey now’s the time to see her if you want to” but they didn’t say that…

I just texted them to let them know I am thinking of them and nonchalantly asked if they or she needed anything like food, drink, company , errands? LOL.

Idk when my parents were passing they didn’t wanna see anyone

2ndtimeguy · 61-69, M

@DoubleRings think that was kind and may encourage them to ask you to come by

BackyardShaman · 61-69, M

Unless I’ve recently been involved with them no, never.

SW-User

I would just visit them without asking their family

Sirmunchabunch · 31-35, M

I agree

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

Unless you are super close I wouldn’t ask. Just asking them if they need anything is great.

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