Caring
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Help or not?

Should you help someone that has done you wrong and hurt your feelings badly, when they have been in an accident and need help? My heart says yes, my gut says no. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Graylight · 51-55, F Best Comment
Personally, I'd probably offer what help I could that maintains my personal emotional boundaries. The second helping someone else begins to take an unhealthy toll on me, it's time to back away because the situation is growing toxic. Whatever you choose, good luck.

SW-User
I mean, your anger doesn't have to turn to hate. If they're in serious trouble help where you can.
SW-User
Do you still care about the person? If so then yes. I’d always rather help someone - people make mistakes and bad choices but if you forgive them then you can’t continue to hold it against them. I’ve made bad choices and maybe not deserved help, but I’ve been so grateful that people did not give up on me
Mbingh01 · 61-69, F
@SW-User I I definitely care, much more than I should. But he has a lot of issues that only he can resolve and I don’t want to be dragged back into that toxic environment. Being alone has its perks!
Snuffy1957 · 61-69, M
Yes you should help them...
You are better than the way they treated you :-)
Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F
There are many ways to help without over-investing. Supporting the family, providing meals, prayer, a note of positive thoughts and healing.

Or, you can forgive them for the pain they caused you and be there for their struggle.

There is really no right answer. At least none that any of us can give.
JustNik · 51-55, F
If your heart is saying yes because it hopes for anything other than the basic well-being of another human in distress, it might be better to let someone else do the helping. Sometimes an unpleasant personal history just creates stress that doesn’t help anyone.
Help him if he or she is genuinely needing it. But don't expect anything in return.
@Mbingh01 You are a generous person that's why you want to help him. You know what. I was alcoholic too and I had an accident too which gave me shock too. But some support of people did made me feel better. However I continued drinking after that for a little while but then quit it completely.
Mbingh01 · 61-69, F
@littlepuppywantanewlife well he’s 60 years old so, I don’t see him quitting. But thanks for your input.
@Mbingh01 I think it's hard for him. But let's just say give him a little support.
SW-User
Yes ,help them ..always choose to be kind rather than be right
Fairydust · F
I probably would help them. 😌
Mardrae · F
Of course you would help. This is the Universe 's way of hopefully allowing them to make amends for what they did to you. To not help would probably bring the karma back on you.
SW-User
Always help. The world is full of too much pain as it is. It does not mean you have to get back into a toxic environment.
sassypants · 36-40, F
Yes I would help them. Just be the bigger person. The world needs more kindness.
Nayla · 56-60, F
Are they asking you for your help?
Mbingh01 · 61-69, F
@Nayla no, but I know he would like nothing more than to be back in my life. His sister is there now to help, but she is leaving soon to go back home. P.s. he lives 4 hours from here.
Nayla · 56-60, F
@Mbingh01 Has he apologized? May I ask what he did to hurt you?
Notanymore · 36-40, M
Do you want to be past the pain they've caused?
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
Help them. Goodness always prevails.
exexec · 61-69, C
Yes. Follow your heart on this one.
SW-User
No I hope I wouldn't
mrh1972 · MVIP
Go with your gut
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