How do I stimulate my brain?
Update: I’ve been told that our brains need stimulation because it gets stuck on something and needs to do something.
No drugs, please. No drinks either, please.
I already have seldom hallucinations that are on and off and only happen when I’m dreaming.
My brain never turns off at night. It keeps going and going and makes me get insomnia. I can’t sleep usually because thoughts race back and forth and these are things I’ve learned. It makes me feel sick like I’m not supposed to think about them too much because it makes me sick, and I want other thoughts, too.
I want different thoughts.
Repetitive behavior was always with me. At one point as a kid, I asked others “I wonder what will be the next thing I’ll repeat” from swaying my arm back and forth, blinking every millisecond because someone said something to me at school then it made me blink over a million seconds in a second and never stop, touching and rubbing my nose whenever I’m pondering too hard, and now it’s thoughts.
Years ago, it was memories I’d repeat over and over again and again. Over and over again. It would make me feel something then nothing then empty, since it’s all gone and I needed it to be gone since it was bringing my life down just remembering over and over different memories one by one. Now, these are good memories (including words I read from books and from education etc.) The same line repeat itself again and again in my head. I try to think about other things and/or try my best to distract myself but it is so hard. It comforts me to do the same thing over and over, and it relieves me until I can’t do it anymore (and/or my brain literally finds another thing to repeat.)
When I was younger, I used to copy other people and become them, absorbing their personality.
When I was younger (all the way now), I remember lots of details from my vivid dreams—dreams that include visual and sound, and some other senses like smell and touch. One time I wasn’t dreaming but awake but smelt my cafeteria lunch (was bread) and the aroma went into my nose. I was inside my room, not close to the kitchen. It is rare for me to do this because it’s not of my nature to think about something then smell it after (rare occasions I can) inside my nose.
And I remember a very whack dream that had eyes on my door staring at me, just there. They were blinking and looking at my face. It was really creepy and freaked myself out until I fully woke up. I was half-asleep.
When I was 6 or 7 years old, I had a dream when I was in a hotel and felt my dream—I heard the noise a dog was making in my dream and “waving sounds” during my dream, asleep. When I woke, I still felt the noise in my ears, a strange waving sound—sound of wind.
I used to clap or laugh when I was sleeping. Not anymore.
I’m really socially awkward. I blame myself. Everyone told me to talk more growing up, but I never really did.
It was rarely I spoke up about feelings, my feelings, etc. It’s that I don’t know what to say or know exactly how to say them or what to talk about—what topics to discuss about.
No drugs, please. No drinks either, please.
I already have seldom hallucinations that are on and off and only happen when I’m dreaming.
My brain never turns off at night. It keeps going and going and makes me get insomnia. I can’t sleep usually because thoughts race back and forth and these are things I’ve learned. It makes me feel sick like I’m not supposed to think about them too much because it makes me sick, and I want other thoughts, too.
I want different thoughts.
Repetitive behavior was always with me. At one point as a kid, I asked others “I wonder what will be the next thing I’ll repeat” from swaying my arm back and forth, blinking every millisecond because someone said something to me at school then it made me blink over a million seconds in a second and never stop, touching and rubbing my nose whenever I’m pondering too hard, and now it’s thoughts.
Years ago, it was memories I’d repeat over and over again and again. Over and over again. It would make me feel something then nothing then empty, since it’s all gone and I needed it to be gone since it was bringing my life down just remembering over and over different memories one by one. Now, these are good memories (including words I read from books and from education etc.) The same line repeat itself again and again in my head. I try to think about other things and/or try my best to distract myself but it is so hard. It comforts me to do the same thing over and over, and it relieves me until I can’t do it anymore (and/or my brain literally finds another thing to repeat.)
When I was younger, I used to copy other people and become them, absorbing their personality.
When I was younger (all the way now), I remember lots of details from my vivid dreams—dreams that include visual and sound, and some other senses like smell and touch. One time I wasn’t dreaming but awake but smelt my cafeteria lunch (was bread) and the aroma went into my nose. I was inside my room, not close to the kitchen. It is rare for me to do this because it’s not of my nature to think about something then smell it after (rare occasions I can) inside my nose.
And I remember a very whack dream that had eyes on my door staring at me, just there. They were blinking and looking at my face. It was really creepy and freaked myself out until I fully woke up. I was half-asleep.
When I was 6 or 7 years old, I had a dream when I was in a hotel and felt my dream—I heard the noise a dog was making in my dream and “waving sounds” during my dream, asleep. When I woke, I still felt the noise in my ears, a strange waving sound—sound of wind.
I used to clap or laugh when I was sleeping. Not anymore.
I’m really socially awkward. I blame myself. Everyone told me to talk more growing up, but I never really did.
It was rarely I spoke up about feelings, my feelings, etc. It’s that I don’t know what to say or know exactly how to say them or what to talk about—what topics to discuss about.
22-25, F
