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This [b]might[/b] be offensive now, to animal lovers. It wasn’t when I was a kid.
A man, trying to get rid of a stray cat who had become attached to the family, figured since it was still pretty feral he’d set it free.
He drove out to a woodsy area, let the cat out, and drove home.
When the man arrived home the cat was there, lounging on the doorstep.
The man assumed he hadn’t driven far enough, scooped the cat up, put it in the car, and drove across town to a park.
He let the cat out again, and headed back home.
The cat was waiting for him on the doorstep again.
Frustrated, the man drove to the state line, let the cat out once again and headed home. He missed a turn and found himself driving in circles. Finally, he called his wife.
“Hey, did that cat come back ?” She checked.
“Yep, it’s sitting right outside.”
The man sighed.
“Put that f*cker on the phone. I’m lost.”
A man, trying to get rid of a stray cat who had become attached to the family, figured since it was still pretty feral he’d set it free.
He drove out to a woodsy area, let the cat out, and drove home.
When the man arrived home the cat was there, lounging on the doorstep.
The man assumed he hadn’t driven far enough, scooped the cat up, put it in the car, and drove across town to a park.
He let the cat out again, and headed back home.
The cat was waiting for him on the doorstep again.
Frustrated, the man drove to the state line, let the cat out once again and headed home. He missed a turn and found himself driving in circles. Finally, he called his wife.
“Hey, did that cat come back ?” She checked.
“Yep, it’s sitting right outside.”
The man sighed.
“Put that f*cker on the phone. I’m lost.”
Jadeismyname · 26-30, F
@bijouxbroussard 😂😂😂 thank you for the laugh
This message was deleted by its author.
TheHealthyWorld · 36-40, M
@bijouxbroussard Its very funny
TheHealthyWorld · 36-40, M
A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before the problems start!"
He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, "Give me a beer before the problems start!"
The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?"
The man answers, "Now the problems start!"
He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, "Give me a beer before the problems start!"
The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?"
The man answers, "Now the problems start!"
Mamapolo2016 · F
A frustrated traveler, lost in New England, stops to ask directions from a farmer working on a fence.
The farmer cooperatively steps down to the car window and proceeds to give directions so lengthy and complicated, the traveler grabs pen and paper and scribbles furiously. When the farmer finishes, the man thanks him and drives off, carefully following the instructions.
Two hours later, the traveler makes a turn and is aghast to see he is back at the same farm, same fence, same farmer.
“What did you to to me?” He shouts at the farmer.
“Well, where you’re going is kinda complicated. Just wanted to make sure you could follow simple directions before I went to all that trouble.”
The farmer cooperatively steps down to the car window and proceeds to give directions so lengthy and complicated, the traveler grabs pen and paper and scribbles furiously. When the farmer finishes, the man thanks him and drives off, carefully following the instructions.
Two hours later, the traveler makes a turn and is aghast to see he is back at the same farm, same fence, same farmer.
“What did you to to me?” He shouts at the farmer.
“Well, where you’re going is kinda complicated. Just wanted to make sure you could follow simple directions before I went to all that trouble.”
SarahAndSamantha · 46-50, F
SW-User
@Jadeismyname to get away from the farmer who wanted to chop off his head and fry him for dinner. :|
This message was deleted by its author.
Jadeismyname · 26-30, F
Sroonaka616 · 31-35, M
Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 26-30, F
Jadeismyname · 26-30, F
@Mrsbetweenfatandfit 😂😂😂😂😂 perfect!