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How do you feel about receiving unsolicited messages, and what do you do about them?

I'm really intrigued by how people feel about this matter. I hope for lots of dialogue on it. Admittedly, I'm sure I'm not the first to ask, but I think it's still a relevant question. What do you think?

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Hopelessromantic45 · 51-55, F

I enjoy the messages if they sincere and kind. If the messages are very well written even better. Even a first message can be very meaningful and memorable.

splendid · 41-45, M

@Hopelessromantic45 Clearly, you are quite articulate yourself. Thank you for taking a chance by writing. You exemplify why I love to make connections and online fiends. Thank you very much!

Hopelessromantic45 · 51-55, F

@splendid your words echo why I am here too !!!! The pleasure is all mine ! 💗

Mamapolo2016 · F

I try to look at it this way: Every friend I have is someone I had to meet for the first time at some point.

It’s not unsolicited messages that distress me and it’s not even messages from fetishists or from would-be cyber ‘lovers’, although that is distasteful. When I tell them to go away, they nearly always do.

The ones that infuriate me are the fetishists who approach me with some kind of sob story and claim they are in the midst of some tragedy and just need someone to talk to. Sooner or later they try to work the conversation around to their real purpose, which is cheap thrills at my expense. Meanwhile, I have wasted empathy and energy on a sleazy deceitful leech.

splendid · 41-45, M

@Mamapolo2016 Thank you for your candid assessment of the situation. I appreciate your honesty. I hope you receive plenty of good messages to make up for the bad ones.

Too, I really like your perspective---"every friend I have is someone I had to meet for the first time at some point." This is so sensible!

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

I rarely get unsolicited messages. As long as they don't start out with a one agenda perv goal I don't mind them at all. If I can tell that it's all about that I will get bored pretty fast.

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ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

@splendid LOL it's fine...I found it interesting.

splendid · 41-45, M

@ravenwind43 Thanks for giving me a fair chance! Don't worry, I won't become your worst nightmare. After all, I don't have time to be!

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

@splendid LOL no problem 🙂

DragonFruit · 61-69, M

I don’t have a problem with unsolicited messages per se, it’s just the content of some of those messages that I have a problem with.

splendid · 41-45, M

@DragonFruit Well said! I agree.

fallnhope · 36-40, F

I don't mind messages most times, but I typically don't respond to ones that just say "hi".... I need more to go on

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splendid · 41-45, M

@fallnhope It's a joy when I receive a well-written, thoughtful message from someone. I like it when it's apparent the other person took care with her/his message.

fallnhope · 36-40, F

@splendid I can imagine. It's been awhile since I've had a meaningful message here.

splendid · 41-45, M

@fallnhope Well, to paraphrase Humphrey Bogart, "This could be the start of something wonderful..." I'd like to think so!

Peaches · F

I tell them I'm not in to small talk and to please not message me again. Some I just delete and some I respond. It depends on what is being said.

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splendid · 41-45, M

@Peaches Different kinds of playfulness exist, for sure. You are I are taking about innocent playfulness, not sleazy kinds.

Peaches · F

@splendid Exactly, but there are lots of mean jealous people here that are in "clicks."

splendid · 41-45, M

@Peaches Yes, you are right. Well, let's do our best to make sure they don't dominate our good experiences. Can be difficult to sort them out at first, but after I catch on, I like to move beyond and not look back. I sense you feel the same way.

76starships · 46-50, M

I’m always hopeful when I get a new message from someone I haven’t spoken to before. I’ve often been disappointed by people who are obvious fakes or go 100% turbo perv after the first “hi” message.

I stay hopeful because they aren’t all like that, sometimes it becomes a fun, real conversation and the beginning of a SW friendship.

So I always reply to that first “hi.”

splendid · 41-45, M

@76starships Yay! This is much the way I feel about unsolicited messages. Yes, loads of garbage may have to be sorted through, but often a few gems are in there, too, and they are well worth it.

Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

I don't read PM's often but they can send me one. I'll get back to them eventually.

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splendid · 41-45, M

@Fungirlmmm And you are! I know from experience, though it has been a long time since I've written you.

Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

@splendid It takes me awhile to get through them. I try though.

splendid · 41-45, M

@Fungirlmmm Good for you! Thank you!

purplepen · 51-55, F

I don't like unsolicited messages about creepy things, and that's what most of them are trying to lead up to. I check a person's profile before I decide whether to respond.

splendid · 41-45, M

@purplepen This is a smart move!

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

I delete if I never saw the name before on the boards or I’m not interested in general or they are sleazy. That’s how I feel 😉

splendid · 41-45, M

@Keepitsimple Maybe all of the above! Seriously, though, do you evern give someone a chance, or do you delete/ignore most unsolicited messages?

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

I generally don’t respond to messages unless I recognize the name. If they are sleazy depending on my mood I’ll either tell them off, block them instantly or play them being they thought they could be a jerk.@splendid

splendid · 41-45, M

@Keepitsimple This is reasonable and well within your rights!

Jessmari · 41-45

It really depends on my mood. Some days I'll block them and other days curiosity gets to me and i'll look before I block them.

splendid · 41-45, M

@Jessmari Yes, curiosity is the reason for many of my actions online. It's good to be honest about that. After all, I am a very curious persion. ☺️

SW-User

If it's someone I've never interacted with or not really friends with I ignore it.

splendid · 41-45, M

@SW-User That's fair, but how would you know if you'd be friends or not be friends unless you give the person a chance?

SW-User

I usually just ignore them unless I recognize the user. Too many weird messages.

splendid · 41-45, M

@SW-User Yes, their are a lot of weird messages and a lot of weirdos. However, for those of us that are seeking to make new connections, I hope you and others will keep an open mind!

abe182 · 46-50, M

Rarely ever leads to anything but a catfish

splendid · 41-45, M

@abe182 That seems like a pessimistic view, though it may be the realistic one. I suspect I'm still an idealist because I like to write messages out the blue, and like to receive them, too.

abe182 · 46-50, M

@splendid if we never interacted before it's usually a catfish

splendid · 41-45, M

@abe182 Well, I remain optimistic and welcome messages from people with whom I've never interacted. I can usually figure out pretty quickly if it's a catfish, troll, or some other person I want to avoid.

Cantsayno · 56-60, M

If I don’t like the message I just don’t respond

splendid · 41-45, M

@Cantsayno Sounds good to me. The nice thing about SW is we don't have to respond.

Cantsayno · 56-60, M

If it’s something that makes you feel uncomfortable, just block them. @splendid

ShaythePanTransMan · 22-25, T

I love receiving unsolicited messages. “Wanna see my cock?” or something like that is very welcomed, though I rarely get those messages. If you’re talking about unsolicited nudes, well...I wish they asked because I probably would’ve said yes unless too old, but I wouldn’t be mad.

FloridaGuy · 46-50, M

I don’t really see many people soliciting for messages. At least not the kind of people anyone would want to message.

SW-User

I welcome them, but how I respond depends on the message.

splendid · 41-45, M

@SW-User Sounds good to me. This is a fair and pragmatic way of handling them.

butterfly1013 · 26-30, F

Ignore them.

splendid · 41-45, M

@butterfly1013 Fair enough, but do you sometimes wonder if some of them might from decent people?

butterfly1013 · 26-30, F

@splendid I mean .... some of them could be, but most of the time it's someone with a weird fetish or someone who turns everything into sex.

splendid · 41-45, M

@butterfly1013 This is a sad statement on the SW community, but I'm sure you are speaking from experience. I am sorry!

SW-User

Ignore and delete, mostly.

splendid · 41-45, M

@SW-User Makes sense, but I'm glad you'd be willing to make exceptions for ones that seem legitimate.

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Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 26-30, F

I don’t mind a random PM but it seems more often than not it’s just someone trying to speak sexually or about a fetish etc.

splendid · 41-45, M

@Mrsbetweenfatandfit I'm sorry that you have to endure a lot of that. I understand, but it certainly is unfortunate. Hopefully you hear from some decent people, too!

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