Can you easily spot a narcissist?

@ChiRho I'm sorry to hear that your father was like that. It's always so hard to find out that someone isn't who you thought they were, especially if you've become seriously involved with them, let alone married to them. I'm glad that she left them and your grandpa was there for you and helped you. And I'm glad that you were able to heal.

I hope this guy doesn't end up hurting your sister. I think that as long as your sister's relationship with her boyfriend is strong, and she stays focused more on that than on her friendship with this guy, she should be okay. But I know that some narcissists will pursue people who are married or involved with someone, for various reasons. Sometimes they will bide their time and wait until they have some problems, and then they might first become a sympathetic ear, and then maybe slowly try to turn it into something more. But maybe this guy won't try that with her. Who knows how they decide these things. Anyway, I hope your sister's relationship works out and she'll be happy.

Thank you, means a lot ☺️ She’ll be ok though as long as I long as i’m around. This may sound a bit extreme but i’ll die and go to hell before anyone hurts my family. I couldn’t do anything about it when I was younger but i’ve got a bit of fight in me now lol I can match any narc’s viciousness if i’m protecting someone I care about. @TeresaRudolph71

@ChiRho You're welcome. Your sister is very fortunate to have you to stand up for her. :)

They’re a bit a bit different on that sense. They don’t go out of their way to get attention or admiration but what you do have to say about them should be nothing but good lol If you don’t or contradict them in any way they can’t handle it @HannahSky

@ChiRho good luck with that

Thanks @HannahSky

Sorry to hear that. My father was one too. A malignant one at that. Caused me and my sister a lot pain @DunDunDun

@ChiRho Thanks. I hope everything is better for the two of you now. Narcissist are extremely damaging to their children.

Appreciate it. I hope you are doing ok dealing with the same. I agree though, they hurt everyone around them 😕@DunDunDun

Yeah some might be forthcoming you never know lol Especially if they think it will garner praise or admiration. I think even though that may be prominent thinking here, there are still a lot who don’t fall into that mindset @Faust76

@ChiRho Yeah, and like I was getting to if one straightforward asks "I can't stand narcissists, are you one" the answer is obviously going to be different from anonymous survey asking "How narcissistic are you". But I think most aren't THAT subtle about it; it's just it's charming, seen in terms of confidence and popularity, and they're things most people do to some degree.

So it's a question of when it becomes a pathological problem, though to me it's a giant red flag when someone declares they have to always put themselves first. Kinda like that joke, "All my ex's were narcissists. They thought they were more important than me".

@Faust76 I agree on everyone having some of those traits to some degree. And it varies drastically with every individual, sometimes mostly in the people are on the grey area and don’t even know it. Then there are those who so far down the rabbit hole that it’s impossible to not spot them lol

Glad you have. It’s good to be discerning when it comes to people. It’s saved me some trouble a few times lol@Starcrossed

@TwiddlerofThumbs Strangely enough this person is a bit quiet. They don’t really show that they’re self absorbed if you didn’t know them. But after talking with them they don’t seem to have a sense of self. And I’ve called them on a lie they told and they almost lost it on me lol

@ChiRho they almost lost it on you? Weird.
The ones I know wont lose it. they might get very angry, depending on the lie I'm calling them out on, but for the most part they let me know how wrong i am and explain to me all the ways I am wrong, and foolish for even thinking such a thing. Even with evidence and no way to back out of it, Silence is how my father reacts. Arms folded and angry, if he can't find a way out. Which is rare. making up your their facts is a common out.
But I imagine it has a lot to do with the lie, how they were called out and to what extent it can be seen that they are in the wrong.

That makes sense. I guess the reason they might have gotten so angry is because I did it front of one of their friends. Anyone else of would have objected and maybe had a comeback but they just got visibly upset and closed off. Then when I tried talking to them again they raised their voice almost to shouting tone lol @TwiddlerofThumbs

Defintiely. Some of them hide so well though. I would have never suspected it was being observant enough to catch a few things lol @AnonymouslyYours

Have you known any?@Drunkby6