Can you easily spot a narcissist?
I think I might of met one a couple of days ago. They’re really really sneaky but i’ve caught them in a few lies already lol
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TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
Perhaps some narcissists, but not all. It depends upon the type of narcissist they are, and how clever they are. Some don't show any obvious signs until years into the relationship, when they know they've got you hooked. Looking back, I can see some red flags that I ignored at the time, and at one point I had a strange feeling that something wasn't quite right, but this was after I had known him for over two years.
I think I might be able to spot one more easily now, but at the time no, it wasn't so easy to spot at all.
Oh, and one more factor to consider: How easy the narcissist is to spot could also depend partly upon what role they are grooming you to fill. If you are their prey, it becomes obvious that something is wrong once the abuse, or devaluing, begins. But if you are being groomed to be one of their flying monkeys, it could take much longer to see what they are, if you ever do.
It sounds like you are good at seeing when something is wrong, and that's good.
I think I might be able to spot one more easily now, but at the time no, it wasn't so easy to spot at all.
Oh, and one more factor to consider: How easy the narcissist is to spot could also depend partly upon what role they are grooming you to fill. If you are their prey, it becomes obvious that something is wrong once the abuse, or devaluing, begins. But if you are being groomed to be one of their flying monkeys, it could take much longer to see what they are, if you ever do.
It sounds like you are good at seeing when something is wrong, and that's good.
ChiRho · 26-30, M
That is very interesting. I’ve only known a few in my life too but this most recent is someone my sister is friends with. He just hangs out with her from time to time so thankfully it’s just friendship even though that worries me a bit still. She already has a boyfriend so i’m not really afraid he’ll doing anything to hurt her. I know what you mean about the one’s who won’t show it for even years. My father was like that. He treated my mom like she was a queen until they started fighting more and more and he showed his true self. I still have nightmares about what I saw growing up. Thankfully she left him and we were raised pretty much by our grandparents, who I thank god for cause they are nothing like him. Well my grandma is, but my grandpa passed on a few years ago. He was the person that helped me heal some from the trauma I experienced growing up. @TeresaRudolph71
TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F
@ChiRho I'm sorry to hear that your father was like that. It's always so hard to find out that someone isn't who you thought they were, especially if you've become seriously involved with them, let alone married to them. I'm glad that she left them and your grandpa was there for you and helped you. And I'm glad that you were able to heal.
I hope this guy doesn't end up hurting your sister. I think that as long as your sister's relationship with her boyfriend is strong, and she stays focused more on that than on her friendship with this guy, she should be okay. But I know that some narcissists will pursue people who are married or involved with someone, for various reasons. Sometimes they will bide their time and wait until they have some problems, and then they might first become a sympathetic ear, and then maybe slowly try to turn it into something more. But maybe this guy won't try that with her. Who knows how they decide these things. Anyway, I hope your sister's relationship works out and she'll be happy.
I hope this guy doesn't end up hurting your sister. I think that as long as your sister's relationship with her boyfriend is strong, and she stays focused more on that than on her friendship with this guy, she should be okay. But I know that some narcissists will pursue people who are married or involved with someone, for various reasons. Sometimes they will bide their time and wait until they have some problems, and then they might first become a sympathetic ear, and then maybe slowly try to turn it into something more. But maybe this guy won't try that with her. Who knows how they decide these things. Anyway, I hope your sister's relationship works out and she'll be happy.
ChiRho · 26-30, M
Thank you, means a lot ☺️ She’ll be ok though as long as I long as i’m around. This may sound a bit extreme but i’ll die and go to hell before anyone hurts my family. I couldn’t do anything about it when I was younger but i’ve got a bit of fight in me now lol I can match any narc’s viciousness if i’m protecting someone I care about. @TeresaRudolph71