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CountScrofula · 41-45, M
Unfortunately there's a population of creeps here who pounce on new female users. It's the biggest barrier to entry to what is an otherwise pretty great site.
The easiest way to reduce the volume of these messages (which will die down over time) is to go to your account settings and turn off 'appear online'.
And just ignore messages from people you haven't interacted with otherwise.
The easiest way to reduce the volume of these messages (which will die down over time) is to go to your account settings and turn off 'appear online'.
And just ignore messages from people you haven't interacted with otherwise.
Lilylovely · F
@CountScrofula thank-you for explaining. I just blocked someone trying to be nice but told him I want to get to know people in public first.
Faust76 · 46-50, M
Dating is SPECIFICALLY one of the interests you can select in your profile. So let's not blame everybody using the site as it's intended, but people who aren't respectful and follow people's wishes. That said, there's seven billion lonely people in the world, someone is always going to break rank (And sad truth is sometimes that makes them the lucky ones) so I'm not really sure what could fix it, rather than ignoring them.
I agree it shouldn't be necessary though, but it would help a bit to remove sexual orientation from your profile, nobody wants to know it unless you're looking for someone. And select some interests but not Dating/Flirting/Meeting/Roleplay. And put in a message introduction where you say you're not here for flirting, dating or online play, because a lot of those folks apparently don't actually read your profile. If that doesn't fix it, there's options to restrict messaging, though I've not played with those myself.
I agree it shouldn't be necessary though, but it would help a bit to remove sexual orientation from your profile, nobody wants to know it unless you're looking for someone. And select some interests but not Dating/Flirting/Meeting/Roleplay. And put in a message introduction where you say you're not here for flirting, dating or online play, because a lot of those folks apparently don't actually read your profile. If that doesn't fix it, there's options to restrict messaging, though I've not played with those myself.
Lilylovely · F
@Faust76 I did all that when making a profile. I chose no dating options.
Faust76 · 46-50, M
@Lilylovely The selection during registering/creating accounts don't really affect anything I'm afraid. Click on your profile pic and "Edit profile", select empty for Orientation and/or "Show this to friends only", and then click Save. Scroll near the end where it says "Your interests" and select what appeals to you and again Save. Then the envelope mails-thing, and "Edit your Message Introduction", then "Edit your Message Introduction" again, put in something about no dating/sexual chat etc. and save.
And yes, I totally agree people shouldn't have to do this, but again, with maybe 30.000 people from different cultures registered on the site and more joining every day, one is never going to get everybody to follow some code of conduct, indeed I'm sure some people will still be trying. But those should at least make it clear to anyone who can read.
And yes, I totally agree people shouldn't have to do this, but again, with maybe 30.000 people from different cultures registered on the site and more joining every day, one is never going to get everybody to follow some code of conduct, indeed I'm sure some people will still be trying. But those should at least make it clear to anyone who can read.
Lilylovely · F
@Faust76 thank-you.
FaeLuna · 31-35, F
I just learn to ignore the unwanted messages, or find the humor in the pathetic ones. It does eventually drop down in volume after a while, so if you can make it past that, you're good.
Oh, and as a few others have said, setting it so that you appear offline is a true savior. Cuts down the aggressiveness by a huge amount, since they can't see that you're online and get antsy waiting for a response that isn't likely going to come.
Oh, and as a few others have said, setting it so that you appear offline is a true savior. Cuts down the aggressiveness by a huge amount, since they can't see that you're online and get antsy waiting for a response that isn't likely going to come.
Lilylovely · F
@FaeLuna thank-you. I just did that too.
PoetryNEmotion · F
Not a dating site. Just aggressive people. There are mostly wonderful people here. Just block those who get upon your nerves. Or you may mute them. Put limits upon your profile. Like say no dating, no sexting, no whatever you want. Have fun. I love your avatar, Lily, too.
Lilylovely · F
@PoetryNEmotion thank-you. I should write something since this is new to me.
PoetryNEmotion · F
@Lilylovely A fine place to write. There are many groups to choose from. I am a Poetess. Feel free to taste my creations on my profile. If I may help you, let me know. I have to go. Welcome, again.
Lilylovely · F
@PoetryNEmotion thank-you.
ABCDEF7 · M
Most of females complains that.
Set your profile as non adult. Hide age range, hide online status, turn off email notifications.
Welcome. :)
Set your profile as non adult. Hide age range, hide online status, turn off email notifications.
Welcome. :)
View 1 more replies »
ABCDEF7 · M
@Lilylovely but you are visible as online to me.
Lilylovely · F
@ABCDEF7, nothing that shows I want to hook up right? My profile says no dating for me.
ABCDEF7 · M
@Lilylovely it's just when perverts see you online, they message you expecting an immediate reply. Hiding your online status may reduce such messages. It's good if your current settings are good for you.
Ask/share/comment the related stuff and connect with like minded people.
All the best. :)
Ask/share/comment the related stuff and connect with like minded people.
All the best. :)
it's not a dating site, but some people don't get that. there are plenty of rude aggressive people here, but some nice ones too.
SW-User
It's not a dating site, but many treat it as such.
Sadly, women get a lot of PM'S here for a wide variety of things. It's not you, it's them.
Best bet is to fill out your profile completely, with expectations and such, and look for settings within your inbox to help filter unwanted messages. Report abuse.
Welcome aboard!
Sadly, women get a lot of PM'S here for a wide variety of things. It's not you, it's them.
Best bet is to fill out your profile completely, with expectations and such, and look for settings within your inbox to help filter unwanted messages. Report abuse.
Welcome aboard!
Lilylovely · F
@SW-User thank-you. I am trying out my settings so I don't get email yet.
SW-User
@Lilylovely Good idea. Many put in their Inbox greeting that they don't respond to PM'S. It shakes out a few more before the truly persistent message you, and then the filters take over.
AllAboutLaffs · 80-89, M
After reading the replies to both your posts, if that doesn't make you paranoid about being here, I don't know what will.
You can filter yourself out of existence.
Just be you ... write stories and questions ... reply to other's posts ... and get to know people. Like anywhere, there are the good and the bad. Deal with them appropriately. But above all, have some fun.
You can filter yourself out of existence.
Just be you ... write stories and questions ... reply to other's posts ... and get to know people. Like anywhere, there are the good and the bad. Deal with them appropriately. But above all, have some fun.
Mysti · 51-55, F
You're going to need to familiarize yourself with the block button to filter out the pervs. As for your profile. State what you just did. That you're not looking to flirt or date.
Lilylovely · F
@Mysti thank-you. I just updated myself.
SailorMoon · 36-40, F
also put an introductry message on ur inbox on the site stating ur intentions. cuase then uve stated it several places so they cant claim they dont see it particulary if u put it as an introductry message
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
This place has a broad range of types. You learn to filter out those who dont suit you pretty quick. Welcome and good luck.
SailorMoon · 36-40, F
there a section on what ur looking for from the site alot of people fail to read that section before messaging
Itchypants · M
Bugger I'm Too late😄