What will people say at your funeral?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Well I dont want a funeral, my wife knows that and knows I dont want a funeral. My mother hates funerals and knows I dont want one, but then again she does have funny ideas sometimes. so if a funeral did happen? What would people say. Well none of my friends would be there, my wife wouldn't be there. It'd be just my mother's family and what's left of my Dad's. My Dad wouldn't be there because he'd figure why bother. Most likely people wouldn't have anything to say about me. They'd just talk about whatever was happening in their lives and enjoy the food.