There are subjects i hate to talk about.

Sometimes it is because my own emotions are a screaming ball of confusion. Sometimes it's because i know there are no good answers.
I think about writing but the voice chimes in to say 'why?, what will it achieve?'

I guess this post comes from listening to someone elses story (outside here) of being SA as a kid by an older woman when you are male.

Back in the 80s, the reaction of most would be "man, you are so lucky" you dont feel lucky. You feel...wrong. i guess that is the reason, so someone else knows it is normal to feel wrong.

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DrWatson · 70-79, M

I know men who were victims of SA by older women when they were kids. They can acknowledge how the experience had a negative impact on their lives.

It bothers me when people, usually men, have that "right on!" reaction as if the kid was lucky.

Would you consider finding a support group of men with similar experiences?

Arnoldjrmmer · 56-60, M

@DrWatson i have been to therapy for a lot of issues that came out of that and a lot of other things (funny enough, none were my family, they were great so I was lucky there, tho none of them know any of this stuff)
I probably had poor therapists who let me talk with no feedback.
At least i was a teen when it happened so i have a great deal of empathy for children who are hurt. Ive had to learn to hold that back since people (understandibly) get concerned when a guy shows too much attention to that (tho the one feedback i got was that id make a pretty good therapist..lol).
Adult groups would be better but i have a hard time thinking my stuff was as important as some of the awful things ive heard hapened to others.
I think id prefer to help rather than have the attention, if that makes sense.

DrWatson · 70-79, M

@Arnoldjrmmer Please don't think that your stuff is less important in the eyes of those who suffered worse things.

I was sexually harassed, but not abused. So when I have opened up to abuse survivors, I used to preface my words with "I know this doesn't compare, but....". And every time, I have been told not to apologize that way, and my pain was taken very seriously.

Believing we are not "important enough" might be one of the effects of the trauma itself.

metaldog

Any advances on a minor is wrong and will have deep psychological impacts regardless of gender. No one has the right to touch kids and I'm sorry you had to experience that 😔

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

That's a horrible thing to say to someone and I'm sorry it happened to you.

Writing helps me.

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