Inquiring minds wanna know….

Is it really [i]‘better to have loved and lost’[/i]???

Or would it have been easier to have never gone there in the first place….

I’m sure sometimes a person can just move forward, holding on to the memories you shared….
But then other times the pain of loss seriously outweighs the good times you had…?

What do you think?

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AuRevoir · 36-40, M

Love feels so powerful that it feels better to have love and lost initially..

But going by my personal experience I would rather have never gone there in the first place...

So while I have the duality of quite obviously, having said on multiple occasions how grateful I was to experience such strong feelings and to know the truths of the world due to those feelings..

As time passes and more self-reflection and separation from the wayward feelings of great romantic love trickles down into a shallow pool of emptiness...

I can quite clearly state that nothing was gained from it, and that instead everything was taken from me in the process...

It would have been better to never have loved at all... It is too much of a reckless drug.

Romantic Love's value is only in the form when it stays. All other forms of love have far more value to them. Which were all the forms of love I had before romantic love. Romantic love causes you to neglect the other forms of love in its pursuit. Causing you to miss out on so much more that the others could substantiate within ourselves.

In its permanence it is the ideal love we all wish to hope and strive to achieve. But without that pillar it is ashes in the mouth, and a bitter poison to swallow.

AntisocialTroll · 56-60, F

@AuRevoir Is it truly romantic love if it leads you to neglect the other forms of love? Or might it be an obsessive form of love that has more to do with our egos than to true romantic love?

I've definitely been guilty in my time of the ego thing and it hurts far more than the ending of true romantic love in my opinion but if you can see it for what it was, that in itself can help you to move on and lessen the pain it left you with.

I could be completely wrong, tis just a thought based on my own experience.

AuRevoir · 36-40, M

@AntisocialTroll There is love of friendship. But I've seen many people switch their priorities to that of their romantic partner. I believe this is natural. There is also self sacrifice in a relationship where self love is neglected for the sake of the partner. It is natural, but the problem is the gap grows. and grows. and grows as the relationship becomes more and more a priority.

There is such thing as finding a balance within a romantic relationship. And that is the permanence I mention as well. But most romantic attachments in this world are not healthy ones. As most people unfortunately are not perfect and we learn from trial and error. So people can tell you about their innumerous amount of lovers they've had in life. And in what ways they've sacrificed other loves, and what ways they neglected them for the sake of that romantic world they now live in.