I feel like this is an unpopular opinion,but

if you dont take care of yourself (mentally/physically), dont focus on growing as a person, dont put time and effort into your education, your career, your hobbies, your appearance , your relationships , how do you expect others to be romantically attracted attracted to you? As harsh as this sounds I imagine it to be true for most people that they would not want to date or be with someone who neglects themselves ,who needs others to take care of them , who drags you down one way or another. I just dont understand, how do you expect others to just want you when you dont want to spend time on yourself to begin with?

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ShadowWolf · 31-35, M

Yet there is no reason to simply and solely focus on oneself. There is a healthy dynamic of two people building each other up as well. Which seems to elude people nowdays. Sure, it's healthy to have a baseline for yourself, but a person is never "the best version of themselves" and I hate that phrase with a passion. People are always improving and everyone is a work in progress. Having a good life partner where things are mutually beneficial, can work to become great, together! The "best version of yourself" phrase, has caused many people to question whether they are relationship ready. And I think that is wrong. You can still achieve growth within the context of a relationship. It's selfish to think otherwise.