I feel like this is an unpopular opinion,but

if you dont take care of yourself (mentally/physically), dont focus on growing as a person, dont put time and effort into your education, your career, your hobbies, your appearance , your relationships , how do you expect others to be romantically attracted attracted to you? As harsh as this sounds I imagine it to be true for most people that they would not want to date or be with someone who neglects themselves ,who needs others to take care of them , who drags you down one way or another. I just dont understand, how do you expect others to just want you when you dont want to spend time on yourself to begin with?

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Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

This is what Western romance cliches teaches through media and positive quotes. I noticed since I did all the work, I feel and am more attractive as a result. It's in my aura when I talk to people, I have confidence in myself and other people sense it.

You can't expect other people to come into your life, fix you and love you because we don't work like that. I get the impulse "If I just met that special person then my life would change" newsflash, it doesn't. I went through that myself in my early 20s and at least one of the reasons we broke up was because I didn't have my shit together in any sense of the phrase.

It's like the less you "need" people, the more they'll come to you. Nobody wants to be depended upon or be culpable for someone else's happiness like that, it's not fair or healthy, it's toxic for the other person.