I feel like this is an unpopular opinion,but

if you dont take care of yourself (mentally/physically), dont focus on growing as a person, dont put time and effort into your education, your career, your hobbies, your appearance , your relationships , how do you expect others to be romantically attracted attracted to you? As harsh as this sounds I imagine it to be true for most people that they would not want to date or be with someone who neglects themselves ,who needs others to take care of them , who drags you down one way or another. I just dont understand, how do you expect others to just want you when you dont want to spend time on yourself to begin with?