I'm sad today

Today I can't stop thinking about the things I can't do and the things I have not done yet.. I feel that nobody likes me or wants to be associated with me. I feel incredibly alone. My chest feels heavy. I feel that it's too late to fix anything.
This is not easy at all. People get to do everything they wish to without weeks of preparation without needing help from others.. All I see is limitations and more limitations. My soul may be free but I'm not even close.. I feel that I want to get the fuk out of my weak body and burn it down to the ground. As for the wheelchair I'll give it to a poor person.

I want things to be different 😕 this is not how I want it. I'm breaking down today, not sure about tomorrow.