@summalovin I still really love him tho... He helped me a lot and I helped him back, he doesn't realize that I feel like today wasn't about me even tho he promised it would be... I don't wanna focused on myself because I just can't, for years I've locked away my emotions and been so numb but he unlocked them and I felt hsppyness... But I also can't help but feel so much jealousy.. and even tho jealousy Is a normal thing I'm not used to it and it's really really strong... I love him dearly and I know he loves me as well and I can't let go of him since he's the only reason I'm alive or even feeling emotions... Breaking up with him just terrifies me... I'm sorry