I feel so small today.

My best friend is back from home and yet he didn't seem excited to see me. I feel small and unimportant. Maybe if I was a different person people would be excited to see me.
Always, since I was a child. I felt the need to be someone else. I remember following this girl asking her if we could be friends, but she shook her head. I remember handing out spare sheets to my classmates, as maybe I needed to be kinder? I tried supporting a school team, as maybe I needed to show support? I tried sitting with a group of people, as maybe I needed to be more open?
But mostly people were always just ashamed to be seen with me. "can you please leave?"
Yeah okay. I guess I'll leave.