ADVICE???

I used to live my aunt and uncle with my mum in Africa where my mum is originally from and I basically lived there for 6 years, not enjoying it at all. We moved here from London only because my mum got a new job in an international school. She wanted a fresh start and so at the time I was in primary school. As I grew older I got bullied at school, was emotionally abused by my aunt and uncle constantly everyday whist my mum just watched me battle it out myself. Finally we left. She decided it wasn't right because I'd been self harming at the age of 11. (I don't do that shit anymore, just saying) We moved back to the UK and I finally felt happy, but the weight of everything which happened in Africa was still dwelling on me. I was only 13 at the time when we moved back and I was getting into a lot of trouble, but when I got to the summer of 2016 I was able to calm down a bit. I was loved by my friends but my mother and brother hated the idea of me going out a lot and when my mum found out I was smoking weed she was of course hurt since she went through this with my brother. Whatever your opinion is on marijuana, understand that I was using it to open a new chapter of delving deeper into myself. During that time my mum had an argument with my uncle because of me but shortly patched things up. She began to tell him all the things that were going on with me and honestly I don't know what he was saying back to her but it resulted in her lying to me that we were going to visit family back in Africa, instead I'm back. She's gone. Left me. It's difficult for me to talk to her because now all she does is listen to him. Mind you, me and my mum were very close, VERy close. She was my best friend but also best friends do fight sometimes. Now i'm back to living with my uncle who is very angry all the time. We got into a physical fight and I'm only 5ft2 and he's above 6ft. I'm honestly scared. My whole family is turning on me. My mother won't listen to me or even try to understand. Neither will my brother or my close cousin who actually do not like him but seem to be keeping in touch with him. (They never used to)
I have nobody. I'm only safe when I go back to boarding school, but summer holidays are coming up and means I have to stay with him and my aunt.
He constantly tells my mum that all that I tell her is a lie and that i'm a manipulator and that i'm deluded. She of course is going to listen to him over me.
I can't even go to my dad because he's literally useless and won't do anything.
My mum never did this to my brother although he'd been selling drugs from my age.
I miss my friends and my suicidal thoughts are slowly showing themselves and I don't know what to do.

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SW-User

I'm sorry that you're going through this. The only thing I wish to say is that you must stay strong and believe in yourself. Life has many bumps in the road, but only you can overcome them. Stay strong and be safe.

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

What country were you born in ?
Because that determines whose citizen you are.
If you were born in the UK. That makes you a British Citizen with the same rights as one.
By law, you should have a birth certificate and presumably, a passport if you went there from here !
So who has them ?
You could go to the British Embassy, presumably in the capital city of wherever you are. And explain the situation. They may be able to give you advice.

lilgucciski · 22-25, F

I was born in the UK.
I live in the capital of Ghana, which is Accra and people usually get around by car or taxi. Since I do not own a car or have money (My uncle has my wallet) I can not get either to go to the embassy or I would.

es0tericus · 26-30

detach yourself from them, emotionally. View it from a perspective beyond your feelings. Treat it like a problem, if It can't be solved or stemmed from irrational impulses, move on. You only had yourself, you only have yourself, and you will only have yourself. What you do with you is up to you.

lilgucciski · 22-25, F

I've already detached myself from them emotionally but I have to live with them, I'm trying to raise money to leave when I finish secondary school but my mum has my passport.

es0tericus · 26-30

Well, then come up with a plan. Have you asked them what they wanted from you?
Did you seek help? If justice and truth is really important to you, then you should fight for it.

lilgucciski · 22-25, F

@TheObservatory: Bro, I've been fighting ever since I first came here. I either get into a physical dispute or just been told that I am a child so i should "shut up" and don't know any better. It's difficult to leave the house with them around. I'm just trying to raise money but my debit card etc are all with my mum, back in the UK.

hlpflwthat · M

Where is boarding school?

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lilgucciski · 22-25, F

@hlpflwthat: You see that's what I thought in the beginning. But it just got to the point where I'd be pinned on the floor endless times and told things like I was deluded or a manipulator. Especially when I would get changed for something and I didn't want to wear a dress he'd be like "If you don't put on those clothes I strip you myself" If my Aunt wasn't there to stop him on numerous occasions then who knows. It's the lies he's poured to my mother who won't even talk to me, she won't even believe me when I tell her.

hlpflwthat · M

Well good on you for trying to see all sides of the issue. And remember that we all manipulate - maybe not as much as your uncle - but we do.

Hard for me to push the parent in me aside. Your mom must have been feeling helpless or overwhelmed to make this decision. And 13 is a lil early to be smoking pot - tho I wouldn't call it a solid reason for deportation.

lilgucciski · 22-25, F

@hlpflwthat: I understand and I understood my mother's reason for sending me back, though I thought all I needed to do was get good grades, (Which I already do, pretty much) rather than to face my uncle and auntie. Any parent would be concerned but I think if she spoke to me about the life choices I was making, then 2 years later wouldn't be in this mess. She is a good mother, don't get me wrong but now she's growing older and I feel she values family a bit more. She just needs to realise she had a child late (Theres a 13 year age gap between me and my brother), and her not communicating with me proves my point because there was no communication about SERIOUS things and now I've been left to rot, I don't know what to do now in my current situation. I've only been here two months, but the two weeks i've spent at my uncle's, I don't know if I could survive summer.

Jentlemen · 51-55, M

Did you meet Tarzan, while you were there ?

hlpflwthat · M

you are an ass

lilgucciski · 22-25, F

at your big big age skskksksksksk
i need advice

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