The suicidal thoughts are coming back. I can feel it.

People keep saying that, but it has yet to actually get better enough for it to make a real difference.

How long have you felt like that? Sometimes suicide can be the most selfish thing a person can do. You just have to have patience. If you ever need someone to talk about it with I'm here bro.

I've felt like this on and off for decades. It usually takes an external stimulus to trigger it now (which is what happened). And frankly, since they don't consider me "worth it" now, then there's no point in not being selfish.

You still have family and others that would miss you and be fucked up over it. I was once incarcerated with a young guy around your age. He was going through a lot of rough things and his girlfriend stopped talking to him and he felt like it was the end of the world. I knew he was going through some shit too and I never tried to talk to him. A couple days later I came into my cell and he had hung himself. I really regret now not talking to the kid and trying to help him out or at least trying anything. The fucked up thing, the girl came to visit him that weekend and didn't know about it. Shit does get better man. If it's been going on that long then I'd suggest talking to someone who is qualified to help you out but if you need to talk with someone immediately you can message me bro.

Believe me when I say that I'm simply not capable of actually hurting myself.

@KiwiDan: that's good to know at least. I'm still here if you wanna talk though

@Complexconfessions: Thanks. I might go and blow off steam though.

Do what I do and play some Xbox and kill some terrorists lol 🍺

@Complexconfessions: I would if I owned an Xbox. For now it's just my laptop, and that overheats playing Dawn of War 2

Ahhh that sucks. I wish I could justify buying a nice PC but they get outdated so fast I'll probably never get one

Well it doesn't matter for me so much, since I never play the latest games anyway.

I have a friend who I gameshare with on the Xbox so any game we get digitally we can both play. Luckily he buys like every thing new so I never have to buy games. I literally have over 260 games in my ready to install list lol

Lol that's pretty crazy!

@KiwiDan: yeah it's weird because when I didn't game share with him I was always happy to play the one or two games I had, now I just can't ever pick something and usually don't play anything lol

Lol that sucks. Funnily enough, I have a similar problem with my installed computer games; I'll play one a lot, then get bored and not be able to pick another one for ages.

Yeah same here. Ive been trying to play the new Ghost Recon but I don't get much time with my work and lately Ive been getting on here a lot more in my free time for some reason

That's understandable. Hopefully you can manage to put a few more hours in though!

Yeah, the weather has been messing up my work lately so I might just be lazy and binge on some gaming tomorrow