How is hardcore bdsm seen as healthy or positive?

I knew someone who admitted being into that kind of stuff and I thought holy shit you are messed up. I mean I have my own issues but sexual violence and abuse is seen as “erotic” and “sexy” because it is supposedly consensual. I’m sorry but if you get off on being choked, beaten, or any other number of disturbing practices man do you need to see a therapist as soon as possible. And I have no qualms about “ kink shaming”. And these practices are celebrated as a sexually alternative lifestyle. It’s disgusting. And hardcore leather daddies and other hardcore BDSM practitioners are trying to go the way of lgbtqia+ route and attach on. If you think of really disturbing think Folsom street fair in San Francisco. And leather subculture is in gay pride parades yikes. Seeing that and depending on the locale the public nudity makes me stay away from some pride parades. Depending on the locale some pride parades are really not family friendly at all. But anyway now that more bdsm ( and I’m not talking about the light harmless stuff) has become more open in the mainstream. Followers of the sexual abuse and violence lifestyle claim don’t discriminate against us because it’s our sexual expression. I’m sorry but people need help who engage in this perverse sick “ lifestyle.” And then some people have the nerve to say it’s like being lgbtqia no it’s not. LGBTQIA is not about sickening abuse and violence. It’s who you are attracted to and fall in love with. Relationships, marriage, and sexuality are included in it but it doesn’t involve things like whipping, cutting ( knife play) asphyxiation ( choking and “ breath play”) and other psychotic behaviors. Anyway just thought I would get it off my chest…,