Be Careful What You Wish For
I find it odd how life plays out upon the stage of me.
I’ve made thousands of wishes over the years. Most of which I still believe never came true. But maybe this whole time I was walking around with blinders on?
Maybe I made my wishes carelessly and they came true and I just didn’t see it correctly.
I remember specifically the last wish I made. I remember what I said and how I said it. I remember the dark rainy night I made it as I stared out the window at the lightning flashes.
Most of all, I remember thinking that I was in the middle of seeing it come true. A wish made in earnest and sincerity. A wish that in the moment looked a lot different from what I am about to receive. A wish made almost 2 and a half years ago….
Newly divorced and spending the most time alone I had ever spent in my life. A long distance girlfriend who I simply adored and could envision spending the rest of my life with. A place of my own filled and surrounded by quiet and peace.
And there, standing in front of my window at the end of a long Friday of hard work, face to face with the raw power of nature, I said out loud…,
“I just want to be loved and to not feel so alone.”
At the time, my mind was thinking about the girlfriend and her promise of moving here and starting a life that would take us to the end of all things. About how even as she excited all of my senses and filled me with wonderment…, I was always alone and lonely.
It makes me sad to know that that dream will never happen now. That the wish I thought I was making won’t ever come to pass.
Fast forward to today as I stand before that same window…
It’s dark and it’s quiet and there is no storm to speak of, save the ones that rage inside my soul and mind.
The wish…, perhaps it’s about to be granted.
Perhaps I should have been more specific and used better words?
One should never assume that the universe will bother to look inside your mind and won’t just take your words literally and then infer it’s own meaning…
I am now making serious plans to rent a larger space. One my daughter and her sons will move into and share with me. A place where I will likely find no silence and very little peace.
But there would be plenty of love and I doubt the boys would ever let me feel alone or lonely.
I go this Saturday to look at a 6 bedroom home for rent in my daughter’s home town.
I’m anxious and I’m sad, and I’m happy, worried, hopeful, and scared.
I’m also decided.
It’s funny how life plays out upon the stage of me.
Let’s all hope it doesn’t turn into Shakespearean tragedy…
Wish me luck.
Live well
Be happy
Keep trying,
Rob
I’ve made thousands of wishes over the years. Most of which I still believe never came true. But maybe this whole time I was walking around with blinders on?
Maybe I made my wishes carelessly and they came true and I just didn’t see it correctly.
I remember specifically the last wish I made. I remember what I said and how I said it. I remember the dark rainy night I made it as I stared out the window at the lightning flashes.
Most of all, I remember thinking that I was in the middle of seeing it come true. A wish made in earnest and sincerity. A wish that in the moment looked a lot different from what I am about to receive. A wish made almost 2 and a half years ago….
Newly divorced and spending the most time alone I had ever spent in my life. A long distance girlfriend who I simply adored and could envision spending the rest of my life with. A place of my own filled and surrounded by quiet and peace.
And there, standing in front of my window at the end of a long Friday of hard work, face to face with the raw power of nature, I said out loud…,
“I just want to be loved and to not feel so alone.”
At the time, my mind was thinking about the girlfriend and her promise of moving here and starting a life that would take us to the end of all things. About how even as she excited all of my senses and filled me with wonderment…, I was always alone and lonely.
It makes me sad to know that that dream will never happen now. That the wish I thought I was making won’t ever come to pass.
Fast forward to today as I stand before that same window…
It’s dark and it’s quiet and there is no storm to speak of, save the ones that rage inside my soul and mind.
The wish…, perhaps it’s about to be granted.
Perhaps I should have been more specific and used better words?
One should never assume that the universe will bother to look inside your mind and won’t just take your words literally and then infer it’s own meaning…
I am now making serious plans to rent a larger space. One my daughter and her sons will move into and share with me. A place where I will likely find no silence and very little peace.
But there would be plenty of love and I doubt the boys would ever let me feel alone or lonely.
I go this Saturday to look at a 6 bedroom home for rent in my daughter’s home town.
I’m anxious and I’m sad, and I’m happy, worried, hopeful, and scared.
I’m also decided.
It’s funny how life plays out upon the stage of me.
Let’s all hope it doesn’t turn into Shakespearean tragedy…
Wish me luck.
Live well
Be happy
Keep trying,
Rob
