Dear Heart,

I hear you. 35 years is a long time to feel unseen. And I’m so sorry you’ve had to build walls just to protect your heart. That’s not how God designed marriage to be.

35 years. Walls built to survive. Hoping, hurting, and feeling invisible. That’s so heavy a burden for anyone to carry. I hear the loneliness and pain. Same number of years for me, too, so I know what loneliness and long marriages carrying that particular pain, feels like. However, right now I have been widowed since 2005.

Actually the best years of my life. Still living by myself, but not feeling alone, as I have Jesus and He is everything to me. He doesn't try to hurt me, but always helps me. And one thing I know, is that he loves you just as much as he loves me. He will answer your prayers. I will be keeping you in my prayers. My heart really goes out to you.

I can’t change your husband. But I can tell you 2 things I know are true:

1. You are NOT an idiot for staying.
You made vows. You chose faithfulness. That’s strength, not stupidity. God sees it. `Proverbs 19:22` says `What a person desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar.` You desired real love. That’s not "high expectations from movies." That’s being made in God’s image. We were made for connection.

2. Your clock is NOT running out on God.
I know it feels "too late." But God specializes in late. `Joel 2:25` - `I will restore to you the years that...`
The deepest love you deserve? It starts with Him. He sees you. He calls you by name. He will NEVER be callous. `Psalm 34:18` - `The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.`

Maybe your husband never learned to say "I love you." That hurts. But God can fill the places where people can’t. And He can also soften hearts we thought were stone. Don’t stop praying. `Luke 18:1` - don’t lose heart. Pray for your husband that God will change his heart and bring him to repentance and salvation. That's what I will be praying for you and your husband.

And for today: take down one brick of that wall, just with Jesus. Tell Him what you told us. He can handle it. You don’t have to carry it alone anymore. Jesus loves you and so do we here at SW.

You’re not alone in this. I’m 80 and I’ve learned this: God is the Love of our life, and He is never late.

Praying for you. You’re seen. You’re loved. You’re not crazy for wanting more. ❤ You deserve more. God sees every one of your tears and wants to help you. You have the patience of Job. And if you ever need to talk to someone and vent, you may write to me. Hang in there and keep praying with me okay? You are such a beautiful and kind person.

Love, Grace ♥🫂

You might never gonna have the full package.
But you might can have something.

I did fell in love very deeply some time ago while was on EP.
I did not divorce, I didn't even cheat phisically.
But that love gave me a lot. The feelings, emotions. The reason to my heart to beat.

It's not much, and it's definitely not all I could have. But the experience and memories stay with me.

I am not suggesting what you or anyone else should do, but I guess we can reach the elements of happiness on different ways.

Yes, I can relate from the opposite perspective. My now deceased wife expected everything and thought it was fine to just demand but not give. I always knew I would be a good, caring partner for the right woman. One day!
All the best to you, I hope life works in your favour.

He's right in a way because in the movies you have a script writer and people don't deviate from the script.