Just realised how jealous my own mother is of my accomplishments
Don't know what her deal is.
I hope I can leave soon.
This is making me so anxious. I don't feel supported. I feel suffocated. I think an anxiety attack is on its way again.
She expressed how disappointed she is in God that a person like me has achieved so much in life. (As compared to her golden child). She is jealous of me on behalf of her golden child apparently.
My heart sank when I heard this.
It is true, though, that I frowned because my dad was in the way while I was trying to walk into my room. And the door had been open all the way after him and the little cool air that had accumulated was all lost because of it. And also because of my continued anger towards my parents about the disrespectful ways my mother addresses me. (Using cuss words, and using derogatory phrases, etc)
I am no saint. I have been very reactive for the past few days. I have put my foot down and my parents do not like that. How dare I not be docile??? I'm such a rude and unsociable person. I'm disgusting.
I mean, how can my mother say something so extremely horrendous to me because I frowned at my dad who is complicit with my mother's behaviour and does not tell her to stop when she is an absolute b*tch towards me. There is a whole lot I cannot forgive them for.
My mother literally scowled at the innocent feral cat 🐈 a couple days ago and then quickly switched back to a fake smile as soon as she saw that I had caught her make that face. She knows I love the cat. My mom also cusses the cat out randomly. This woman is trying to preach me about God and that religiously speaking I'm such a sinner that I don't deserve good things in life.
How can this woman try to curse my accomplishments? I'm afraid of her words ever becoming true.
This woman would only be happy if I felt trapped and suffocated in life. She cannot tolerate watching me fly free and enjoying life. (I try to do things for myself now, have hobbies etc and she hates it).
I hope I can leave soon.
This is making me so anxious. I don't feel supported. I feel suffocated. I think an anxiety attack is on its way again.
She expressed how disappointed she is in God that a person like me has achieved so much in life. (As compared to her golden child). She is jealous of me on behalf of her golden child apparently.
My heart sank when I heard this.
It is true, though, that I frowned because my dad was in the way while I was trying to walk into my room. And the door had been open all the way after him and the little cool air that had accumulated was all lost because of it. And also because of my continued anger towards my parents about the disrespectful ways my mother addresses me. (Using cuss words, and using derogatory phrases, etc)
I am no saint. I have been very reactive for the past few days. I have put my foot down and my parents do not like that. How dare I not be docile??? I'm such a rude and unsociable person. I'm disgusting.
I mean, how can my mother say something so extremely horrendous to me because I frowned at my dad who is complicit with my mother's behaviour and does not tell her to stop when she is an absolute b*tch towards me. There is a whole lot I cannot forgive them for.
My mother literally scowled at the innocent feral cat 🐈 a couple days ago and then quickly switched back to a fake smile as soon as she saw that I had caught her make that face. She knows I love the cat. My mom also cusses the cat out randomly. This woman is trying to preach me about God and that religiously speaking I'm such a sinner that I don't deserve good things in life.
How can this woman try to curse my accomplishments? I'm afraid of her words ever becoming true.
This woman would only be happy if I felt trapped and suffocated in life. She cannot tolerate watching me fly free and enjoying life. (I try to do things for myself now, have hobbies etc and she hates it).
31-35, F
