Ok .. serious post ...

I'm sick of hearing men talking about
" withholding sex" that is saying that you feel entitled toward their bodies ...you know what ? You aren't! A woman is not abusive because she doesn't want to have sex with you ..
You are allowed to feel disappointed but you are not allowed to use that for coercion control ....it's not hard to be understanding...if women feel that they can't say no they are in an abusive relationship...

Also ...yes Men too ....

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empanadas · 31-35, M

My blow up doll never says no.

cherny

@empanadas I'm sure if she was real she would

TheHammer · M

One thing is not wanting to have sex. I understand that.
A different thing is using sex as punishment.
That points to a different deeper problem.

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TheHammer · M

@cherny
You didn't read that right my friend.
Not wanting sex I understand. And have no problem with it.
But there are people, women and men that use withholding sex as punishment or leverage. And that's a different issue.
I can't say it any simpler.

cherny

@TheHammer then there are bigger problems going on there ...that's a symptom of something else is deeply wrong in the relationship

TheHammer · M

@cherny
Exactly
But witholding sex on purpose is a real thing. I've heard it from men and women that use it as punishment or as leverage to get what they want.

ostfuidctyvm

Yeah, the assumption that sex is being weaponised is a gross assumption indeed. The more appropriate and less rapey phrasing is, "She never wants sex, I do, therefore I'm not happy". That is legitimate. You are allowed to want sex to be part of your relationship. You have the options of working through it, with or without counselling, accepting the status quo or moving on.

The accusation of women withholding sex is a gateway to inceldom and "men going their own way". It's often used by men who are pretty much paid up members to the misogynist club anyway.

cherny

@ostfuidctyvm I find it used a lot by religious men as well ..as part as the purity culture ...it's disgusting tbh

BluntSm0ker · 100+, M

Why would you withhold it from your man tho?

Unless you don't like him anymore which is usually the case, if u physically can't that's different.

No sex is good reason for replacement.
Let a woman not get what she wants she'll be texting & f*ckin the whole town.

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cherny

@BluntSm0ker I never said we didn't like sex it's just some of us aren't always wanting to have it

BluntSm0ker · 100+, M

@cherny
That's old age speaking..

cherny

@BluntSm0ker you leave me and my menopause alone

ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M

"Withholding sex" is generally used to mean a woman -- or man -- using sex as a bargaining chip to get what they want. It's a coercive power move, essentially blackmail, saying "You can only have me sexually when you give me what I want." Sort of a "pay up or else" move.

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