The summer has become very nippy and I don’t feel optimistic about my future.

The mornings and nights have been like 50-55 degrees. And the afternoons 75-80. Although today it didn’t even hit 75 according to the weather station. This kind of weather would be perfect for October or April. Not for July. It is too chilly for the summer. I walk around with thick coats and scarves when the temperature drops below 75-80. I had on a thick pull over sweater crewneck and jeans and sheepskin lined moccasin flats for transitional weather. Camisole, bra, and underwear too of course. This doesn’t feel like summer to me. And people were in shorts, tank tops, and t shirts and little light sweatshirts last night. Though it went down to the 50s one station even said 48-50 overnight. I don’t know how they were not cold. It was like upper 50s and low 60s last night at 9 pm. Sure the afternoon was around 80 degrees upper 70s to Low 80s but that even in the afternoon was not hot. It was pleasant. It was mild and cool at the same time. I like my summers hot but on the drier side. To me 90s- 100s is a real summer. Well that’s New England weather for you even in the summer you never know what you are going to get. And I hate freak cold snaps in the summer like today when it hits below 75 -80. It’s still 75 -76 in the house but my parents have the ac on which is irritating. I closed my window because it didn’t hit 75-80 today. And my mom was giving me trouble about closing my window and trying to insist I keep it open to let in nippy air if I didn’t want the ac in my room. My parents care too much how I keep my room and how I dress. My grandparents also cared too much how I dressed when I brought my coat and scarf with me during our outings just in case the weather changed. It gets on my nerves because the weather in New England is unpredictable during the summer. It could be scorching hot for like three or four days. Then cold again the following days like 65-70 or even chilly at 75. To me it feels more like early autumn than summer right now. I don’t like it. My mom complained about me in a mid weight wool blend coat and thick scarf last night to keep warm. My dad tried saying to me no thick scarves yesterday because it was inappropriate. I told him he did not dictate how I dressed and I would dress how I feel comfortable. He let it go. I get easily cold and I’m sick of my family thinking it’s all in my head or partially blaming the schizophrenia for how I dress. I should have been raised in southeastern, south central, or southwestern United States or inland of California like Fresno or Sacramento ca because then it would have been the norm to be easily cold. The coast of California.would be too chilling for me for half the year. San Francisco is too cold fall, spring, and summer. Los Angeles and San Diego are way too cool in the summer for me. Or I could have lived in Palm Springs. I like a change of seasons but more moderate and on the warmer side than what the northeast US offers. I would not miss snow, blizzards, and ice. I don’t need a white Christmas. A green or brown Christmas is fine for me. I don’t like being inconvenienced by winter weather I like it tolerably cold in the winter in the 50s and 60s during the afternoon and 30s and 40s overnight. Fall and spring should be like mid to late June and early September. 75- 80 during the afternoon and 50-60 overnight in October and April. May and September should be like 85during the afternoon and 60- 70 overnight. Summer should be like 90+ everyday and 75-80 overnight. I prefer it dry heat though and the south is very humid. Truthfully I would rather sweat and need the ac in the 90s than need to wear warm clothes and even winter attire in the summer on chilly to cold days. Also I would rather have pleasant transitional seasons than it stay cold too long or get cold too fast. I would rather have winters I can tolerate and still be outside for regular walking and exercise during extended periods of time instead of just go from the house to the car and next indoor building. I am in the wrong climate but I have several obstacles keeping me from moving somewhere I like better. It’s not a simple case of save up and just move unfortunately. I don’t have the means to move long distance and setting up in a new place without any supports is not a good idea., I curse having mental health disabilities and for letting myself fall behind on learning how to pay bills, taxes, and insurance. ( I’m on government health insurance) I need to find the motivation to cook, clean, laundry I do with no problem. I need to learn how to shop for myself online and make returns. I need to have the energy to do household shopping and personal shopping. I need to learn budgeting and financial literacy. I need to learn skills that would make me a part time living to supplement my disability benefits. If I lose my disability benefits I lose access to affordable housing, government covered insurance, and a bunch of other stuff. I don’t like being on disability benefits but for the time being I need them. Even if i worked. Full time I probably would be struggling to live comfortably because a good chunk of America is so expensive. I cannot afford $1,500-$2,500 rents or mortgages. I would need several housemates to split the rest and mortgage down to a few hundred per month. Sometimes the rents go for even more like $3,000 monthly. I don’t know how I would afford that and groceries and personal products for myself. I would be lucky to make $30,000-$60, 000 per year before taxes. After taxes I would not have much left between federal and state income taxes. Property taxes would be next if I tried owning any private property like owning a house, rv motorhome, and car. In other countries yes they tax you a lot but you get more economic security and access to subsidized services to make you not have to shoulder the burden as much by yourself for expenses. How is it possible people even making a good salary like $50,000-$100,000 pre taxes are struggling to live comfortably? You need like at least $150,000-$200,000 person to live with breathing room for savings and discretionary spending for one person. I will have to have some serious money saved up even if I wanted to build a cob or adobe house for myself for $ 60, 000 and not take out a mortgage. If I wanted to live in a tiny house on wheels I will still need $40,000-$90,000 or rent to own and need a lot to put it on for an extra few hundred per month that better included utilities in lot rent in tiny home villages or rv resorts. Granted I could get a tiny home. With furnishings and plumbing second hand. I could live in a manufactured home park. I don’t know for sure. But it looks like I might be living in subsidized housing for my whole life or section 8 housing. Even if I worked full time and made $75,000-$85,000 a year I would need to be careful. All that money seems like a good income until you get your ass taxed off. Why are there all these tax breaks for the super rich? It puts the burden on the lower and middle classes for taxation. Corporations and businesses that make millions to billions of dollars every year will survive taking part of the tax burden. They will still have millions left which is more than enough to thrive. I am conflicted I don’t know whether a flat tax or progressive taxation would be better. It’s just taxes for everything property taxes, sales taxes, income taxes, oh let’s not forgot estate and inheritance taxes. I partially don’t blame working class or middle class households for moving to states with a lower tax burden even if they are red states. But fewer taxes means fewer services. So it’s pretty much bootstrap country. I have just thought about it. It also means if you fall through the cracks there seems to be a higher rate of poverty in red states with lower rates of health and lower wages. That’s just what the statistics seem to be saying. Blue states have more social services to help those at a disadvantage but on average higher wages and much higher cost of living. Some could argue grassroots non profits and private charities should fill in for government services but how much can charity do? If people looked out for each other more maybe that could work but I don’t see it happening anytime soon. I know conservatives think if they give someone something it should be by free choice and not the government telling them what to do with their money. That’s the thinking. Granted I do agree with not taking things by coercion or force but if people weee more community minded and voluntarily pooled their resources to help those less fortunate or disadvantaged. Then we could fall. I just think no one should be figuratively. And literally left out in the cold. My sister doesn’t like people who abuse welfare benefits( I don’t think anyone does) and if you are working to pick up the slack of someone who just wants to live off the system, she doesn’t like that. She has a friend whose mother when they were children got injured and applied for disability which is fine. But after she became healed and could even lift weights again etc she continued collecting disability. And that rubbed my sister the wrong way. I’m not saying there aren’t people who abuse the system, but that’s probably a smaller percentage than the media would have you Believe., many people in life become disenfranchised through no fault of their own. Imaging being working homeless .and some people have physical disabilities , mental health issues, drug addiction and so on. Should people be punished forever for making mistakes? I mean I understand. Using welfare as a short term solution to help people get back on their feet but there are some individuals who cannot stand on their own two feet without some sort of safety net. If we as a society cared more about each other maybe we wouldn’t need welfare programs. There are some people who are intellectually and developmentally disabled and so now functioning that they cannot support themselves. There are people who are blind, deaf, and mute. I don’t have the answers. I just know society could improve and not make it hard to live.