I had an exgf who would always say that to me

Actually, you catch more flies with a rotting corpse. Just putting it out there. 🤷🏻‍♀

You get more from a kind word and a gun than just a kind word

This well known proverb means it is much easier to persuade people and achieve your goals using kindness and politeness than through hostile or rude demands. The "honey" represents a sweet, pleasant approach, while the "vinegar" represents a bitter, sour, or angry demeanor.