Three day work week

And I am so grateful.

I'm in the worst depression of my life. Every day it's a struggle just to get out of bed. I don't care about anything. I'm just going through the motions so my bills get paid until I develop the guts to off myself.

There is absolutely nothing to motivate me to keep going. Believe me, I have tried to find motivation everywhere. The chronic pain I go through is wearing me down, and the lack of support from anyone is just driving the nail into the coffin. I need so much medical treatment but because of the cost of the procedures (even with insurance) and the lack of PTO hours at work, I'll never be able to get those done. So f*ck it, let whatever it is run rampant through my body and do me a favor and take me OUT.

The only thing I get any enjoyment out of anymore is losing myself in a book.

I'm not posting this for pity, I don't even care if anyone reads it. I just need to get it out of my head and into the virtual world for today so I can go to work and get through the day without exploding with another meltdown.