Aliens are real but so is my ADHD.

Aliens are real but my rent and financial responsibilities are more important.

My body count is what it is, I had fun, I had my needs met, I just gotta hide the bodies now.

Tamales are overrated but enchiladas are life.

Top sheet is always difficult and toxic. Never cooperates.

Who knows what a mud room is... And why are you keeping all the mud?

I acknowledge Brad Pitt is pretty but at the same time I don't find him attractive.

Lemme get one of those hibachi grills and somebody to do the cooking show for me in my apartment.

How'd they figure out popcorn the first time? What else did they throw in the fire first?

Why'd they pour coke over ice cream?

Why you men switch positions so much during sex? You think we don't know what you doing tho?