Show a Man You Like Him (Without Scaring Him Away) | 5 Feminine Secrets
I came upon this randomly on search and I can’t believe how analytical (I presume) Americans are about everything. I am the go with the flow type, not the psychoanalyst!
You've met someone special. Your heart races when you see him. You catch yourself thinking about him throughout the day. But here's the problem: you're terrified of showing your interest too strongly and pushing him away.
If you're a smart, successful woman who knows what she wants, you might be struggling with the question: How do you show a man you like him without coming across as desperate or overwhelming?
There's a feminine, a powerful way to express your interest that actually makes men want to pursue you more. As a dating and relationship coach who's been specializing in helping smart, strong, successful women find and keep amazing love for the last 10 years, I'm going to share exactly how to show interest without scaring him away.
The #1 Mistake Women Make When They Like a Guy
Before we dive into what works, let's talk about the biggest mistake I see my Elevate clients make when they like a guy and want him to pursue them.
A mindset issue: Most women think that just because you like a guy and you tell him you like him, he's going to like you back. So they reveal their feelings to men very directly and rather prematurely in the dating process.
Now, don't get me wrong, being interested in someone, liking someone, being vulnerable about that is actually a beautiful quality to possess. It tells me that you're open-hearted, honest, and emotionally in tune with who you are. Those are all beautiful qualities.
However, the problem is the timing.
Why Being Too Direct Too Soon Backfires
Most women tend to express their feelings to men prematurely. If you go in on date number one, date number two, or even in your first three interactions with a guy and you tell him “I really like you, I've always liked you,” chances are:
You've been very direct and killed the entire instinct of pursuit within a man
You've left absolutely no uncertainty
It's far too early in the bonding process to be so direct and open about your feelings
Now, if this vulnerability came 15 dates in, 20 dates in, when he has earned that from you by making effort for you, then this vulnerability, this openness of your feelings becomes your strength. You're in your feminine and you're rewarding him with your heart and emotions for the work he's put in.
But if done too early in the dating process, it makes you look like, you don't have many options in men, you're prematurely attached (because you don't have so many options) and you've completely killed the chase and the pursuit
So if you like a guy, make sure the timing in which you express that you like him is not premature. That's a mistake you really don't want to make.
Related: When a Man Pulls Away: What High-Value Women Do
Why These Are Called “Feminine Ways”
I call these the feminine ways because, they're not very direct and still leave room for rejection to happen.
Sometimes you may like a guy romantically but maybe he's not available, maybe he has a partner, maybe he's married, maybe he's not looking for anything right now, or maybe he's already met somebody else whom he's considering more seriously.
When you show your interest in a feminine way, it actually reduces the hurt or impact of rejection. Even if he doesn't take your offer or hint, it doesn't put you in an awkward situation, which I don't want a queen like you to be in.
My relationship coaching for women programs are so powerful when it comes to issues like these. They give you all the scripts, all the strategies, methodologies, and mindsets that you need to adopt and display if you desire to attract a healthy masculine man and keep him in your life.
5 Feminine Ways to Show a Man You Like Him
Focus on Your Body Language
The number one and easiest way is to focus on your body language when you're around a man you like. Smiling, making eye contact and making him feel like he has your attention are the top ways and how you communicate matters a lot.
If you are doing this, this is a very good way of making somebody feel important, making a man feel like you're interested in him without being too direct or too overwhelming about it.
What to do:
Smile when you're around him
Have an open body language, which means turn your body towards him while you're talking to him
Give him your full undivided attention
This is a simple but powerful way to show interest without words.
Give Genuine Compliments (The Right Way)
When you're interested in somebody, you want to show them that you appreciate them because all love and romance is based on mutual liking, mutual appreciation. However, you have to be mindful of the kind of compliments you're giving, especially in early dating.
The Wrong Kind of Compliments
Sometimes when we talk about the feminine power of appreciation and women giving men genuine compliments, women can be disingenuous in the compliment. They'll just make up a compliment about nothing.
When you're just getting to know a guy, maybe you've watched him on Instagram or you know he's a very successful CEO. You've already built this romantic bias towards him where you think he's amazing.
So when you meet him at a party or go on a date, you end up being too eager or give too many compliments pr put him up on a pedestal without even realizing it. I call this the romantic bias, you've already decided there are many qualities you appreciate in him. But it's important to not overload a guy with compliments because then it can seem like you're validating his ego versus actually being genuine.
The Right Kind of Compliments
The best kind of compliments to show a man you're interested in him without scaring him are compliments that come for something thoughtful he does for you. It could be as small as him opening the door.
Compliment and reward behaviors they show towards you that you want to encourage. Just appreciate men for the good things they do for you instead of putting them up on a pedestal using your romantic bias to load him with compliments.
Remember, men value what they work for. So make him work for your appreciation. In the beginning when you're not really dating and you're still wanting to show your romantic interest, find that smallest thing he does for you and reward him with a compliment on that.
Share Something Vulnerable (But Not Too Heavy)
Being vulnerable is a great way to show a man you're interested in him in a feminine way without scaring him away. I don't mean being vulnerable with something super heavy like your childhood trauma or a lot of pain from your previous marriage or relationships. I'm not talking about getting heavy here. What I am talking about is having the courage to reveal something that is personal, maybe like a fear that you have, a fear or heights etc.
Revealing something vulnerable about yourself is a great way to bond and show somebody that they matter, that they're important. You're sharing something with them that you normally wouldn't share with other people. This is an honor, a respect you offer a man that you like.
If he's emotionally intelligent, if he's smart, if he's successful, if he is emotionally attracted to you, he will understand that somebody like you wouldn't reveal such information to many people, but only to those you trust.
So opening up with something vulnerable but something personal about yourself is going to really help the two of you bond. And it's possible that he's also going to return the favor to you, which is going to bond the two of you together.
Be a Challenge
This is a highly underestimated art. I think not a lot of women know how to do it. Not a lot of women are doing it.
But being a challenge around the man you like is a great idea, a great way to demonstrate value, and a great way to instinctively activate him to make more effort for you, to come for you, to pursue you.
What Being a Challenge Looks Like
When a guy says, he really wants to see the exhibition, you can say something like: “Oh, I also want to see that exhibition. And maybe you could take me with you. But I'm not sure that's a good idea. Because then you might get a crush on me.”
Very flirty. Very brave. You've totally escalated things here with being a challenge. Now he's going to go home and think: “So does she want me to take her to the exhibition? Or does she not want me to take her to the exhibition?”
You saying something like “I'm not sure that's a good idea, you'll get a crush on me” is also a way to show romantic interest. You're being playful, you're escalating things, but you're escalating things in a very contained way, in a very feminine way, in a very challenging, edgy, sexy kind of way, still without being direct.
Why This Works
Being a challenge is amazing. We talk about this in my Elevate program in much more detail because I think it's a missing art.
There are so many smart, successful women out there who actually have this naughty, wild, edgy side to them. But we are afraid to reveal it to the very men we like. When the man we like comes in front of us, we become good girls, we become super sweet girls.
While there is nothing wrong with being a super sweet girl, bringing in this edge, bringing in this challenge is such a great way to escalate things and to make a man think differently about you.
You don't want a man to think about you in a friendly way. You want him to think about you beyond friendship. For beyond friendship, you need to be desired physically and sexually and thought of beyond just a friend.
Learn the Art of Flirting (Non-Sexual)
This is very simple but very difficult for women to do. Flirting is an art. There are many types of flirting a woman can do. But to simplify this, let's say there is sexual flirting and then there is non-sexual flirting.
Why You Should Avoid Sexual Flirting
I'm not a fan at all of sexual flirting. I think it puts you in the wrong category in a man's mind.
Once a woman is sexually flirting, like touching a man's thighs or talking dirty with a man too early on in the dating process, I think you're going to become a booty call. You're definitely not going to be seen as wife material because you're activating his short-term dating strategy.
You're not activating his long-term mating strategy, which is to find a wife. You're going to be about sex.
Master Non-Sexual Flirting Instead
My recommendation is to become a really good non-sexual flirt. I teach this inside Elevate, which is currently enrolling. I have an entire training on the art of flirting because I think women tend to be too serious, dense in their heads and afraid of coming across as too forward or too slutty
No dignified woman wants to come across that way. But flirting is truly the thing that differentiates you from the woman who is a friend to the woman that is desirable.
If you're wanting to show your interest in a guy, flirt and learn the art of flirting.
Flirting Is a Universal Skill
Non-sexual flirting is not just limited to men. It is an art that you practice personally on everyone. If you feel like you find it hard to flirt, you need to understand that this is a skill and you can learn it. Any woman can learn it. I learned it and so can you.
I teach this as just one training inside my Elevate program. Inside Elevate, I basically work with women from 28 to 70 years old, single women looking to attract the one and to do it in the shortest amount of time.
It's my signature group coaching program where you can access me and my entire team of coaches. It's an elite, highly personalized service.
Start Your Transformation Today
If you're ready to dive deeper into these concepts and completely transform how you show up in love, I'd love to support you. Through my best relationship and dating coaching methodology, I've helped countless women create the passionate, devoted partnerships they've always dreamed of.
The journey begins with my comprehensive Feminine Energy Checklist, a practical guide that will help you embody these principles daily and watch your relationship transform before your eyes. This checklist contains 35 powerful reminders and practices that will help you show up as your most magnetic, irresistible self.
My strategies are practical and straightforward to implement versus having to meditate for 40 minutes or listen to long theoretical outdated lectures on feminine energy.
You've met someone special. Your heart races when you see him. You catch yourself thinking about him throughout the day. But here's the problem: you're terrified of showing your interest too strongly and pushing him away.
If you're a smart, successful woman who knows what she wants, you might be struggling with the question: How do you show a man you like him without coming across as desperate or overwhelming?
There's a feminine, a powerful way to express your interest that actually makes men want to pursue you more. As a dating and relationship coach who's been specializing in helping smart, strong, successful women find and keep amazing love for the last 10 years, I'm going to share exactly how to show interest without scaring him away.
The #1 Mistake Women Make When They Like a Guy
Before we dive into what works, let's talk about the biggest mistake I see my Elevate clients make when they like a guy and want him to pursue them.
A mindset issue: Most women think that just because you like a guy and you tell him you like him, he's going to like you back. So they reveal their feelings to men very directly and rather prematurely in the dating process.
Now, don't get me wrong, being interested in someone, liking someone, being vulnerable about that is actually a beautiful quality to possess. It tells me that you're open-hearted, honest, and emotionally in tune with who you are. Those are all beautiful qualities.
However, the problem is the timing.
Why Being Too Direct Too Soon Backfires
Most women tend to express their feelings to men prematurely. If you go in on date number one, date number two, or even in your first three interactions with a guy and you tell him “I really like you, I've always liked you,” chances are:
You've been very direct and killed the entire instinct of pursuit within a man
You've left absolutely no uncertainty
It's far too early in the bonding process to be so direct and open about your feelings
Now, if this vulnerability came 15 dates in, 20 dates in, when he has earned that from you by making effort for you, then this vulnerability, this openness of your feelings becomes your strength. You're in your feminine and you're rewarding him with your heart and emotions for the work he's put in.
But if done too early in the dating process, it makes you look like, you don't have many options in men, you're prematurely attached (because you don't have so many options) and you've completely killed the chase and the pursuit
So if you like a guy, make sure the timing in which you express that you like him is not premature. That's a mistake you really don't want to make.
Related: When a Man Pulls Away: What High-Value Women Do
Why These Are Called “Feminine Ways”
I call these the feminine ways because, they're not very direct and still leave room for rejection to happen.
Sometimes you may like a guy romantically but maybe he's not available, maybe he has a partner, maybe he's married, maybe he's not looking for anything right now, or maybe he's already met somebody else whom he's considering more seriously.
When you show your interest in a feminine way, it actually reduces the hurt or impact of rejection. Even if he doesn't take your offer or hint, it doesn't put you in an awkward situation, which I don't want a queen like you to be in.
My relationship coaching for women programs are so powerful when it comes to issues like these. They give you all the scripts, all the strategies, methodologies, and mindsets that you need to adopt and display if you desire to attract a healthy masculine man and keep him in your life.
5 Feminine Ways to Show a Man You Like Him
Focus on Your Body Language
The number one and easiest way is to focus on your body language when you're around a man you like. Smiling, making eye contact and making him feel like he has your attention are the top ways and how you communicate matters a lot.
If you are doing this, this is a very good way of making somebody feel important, making a man feel like you're interested in him without being too direct or too overwhelming about it.
What to do:
Smile when you're around him
Have an open body language, which means turn your body towards him while you're talking to him
Give him your full undivided attention
This is a simple but powerful way to show interest without words.
Give Genuine Compliments (The Right Way)
When you're interested in somebody, you want to show them that you appreciate them because all love and romance is based on mutual liking, mutual appreciation. However, you have to be mindful of the kind of compliments you're giving, especially in early dating.
The Wrong Kind of Compliments
Sometimes when we talk about the feminine power of appreciation and women giving men genuine compliments, women can be disingenuous in the compliment. They'll just make up a compliment about nothing.
When you're just getting to know a guy, maybe you've watched him on Instagram or you know he's a very successful CEO. You've already built this romantic bias towards him where you think he's amazing.
So when you meet him at a party or go on a date, you end up being too eager or give too many compliments pr put him up on a pedestal without even realizing it. I call this the romantic bias, you've already decided there are many qualities you appreciate in him. But it's important to not overload a guy with compliments because then it can seem like you're validating his ego versus actually being genuine.
The Right Kind of Compliments
The best kind of compliments to show a man you're interested in him without scaring him are compliments that come for something thoughtful he does for you. It could be as small as him opening the door.
Compliment and reward behaviors they show towards you that you want to encourage. Just appreciate men for the good things they do for you instead of putting them up on a pedestal using your romantic bias to load him with compliments.
Remember, men value what they work for. So make him work for your appreciation. In the beginning when you're not really dating and you're still wanting to show your romantic interest, find that smallest thing he does for you and reward him with a compliment on that.
Share Something Vulnerable (But Not Too Heavy)
Being vulnerable is a great way to show a man you're interested in him in a feminine way without scaring him away. I don't mean being vulnerable with something super heavy like your childhood trauma or a lot of pain from your previous marriage or relationships. I'm not talking about getting heavy here. What I am talking about is having the courage to reveal something that is personal, maybe like a fear that you have, a fear or heights etc.
Revealing something vulnerable about yourself is a great way to bond and show somebody that they matter, that they're important. You're sharing something with them that you normally wouldn't share with other people. This is an honor, a respect you offer a man that you like.
If he's emotionally intelligent, if he's smart, if he's successful, if he is emotionally attracted to you, he will understand that somebody like you wouldn't reveal such information to many people, but only to those you trust.
So opening up with something vulnerable but something personal about yourself is going to really help the two of you bond. And it's possible that he's also going to return the favor to you, which is going to bond the two of you together.
Be a Challenge
This is a highly underestimated art. I think not a lot of women know how to do it. Not a lot of women are doing it.
But being a challenge around the man you like is a great idea, a great way to demonstrate value, and a great way to instinctively activate him to make more effort for you, to come for you, to pursue you.
What Being a Challenge Looks Like
When a guy says, he really wants to see the exhibition, you can say something like: “Oh, I also want to see that exhibition. And maybe you could take me with you. But I'm not sure that's a good idea. Because then you might get a crush on me.”
Very flirty. Very brave. You've totally escalated things here with being a challenge. Now he's going to go home and think: “So does she want me to take her to the exhibition? Or does she not want me to take her to the exhibition?”
You saying something like “I'm not sure that's a good idea, you'll get a crush on me” is also a way to show romantic interest. You're being playful, you're escalating things, but you're escalating things in a very contained way, in a very feminine way, in a very challenging, edgy, sexy kind of way, still without being direct.
Why This Works
Being a challenge is amazing. We talk about this in my Elevate program in much more detail because I think it's a missing art.
There are so many smart, successful women out there who actually have this naughty, wild, edgy side to them. But we are afraid to reveal it to the very men we like. When the man we like comes in front of us, we become good girls, we become super sweet girls.
While there is nothing wrong with being a super sweet girl, bringing in this edge, bringing in this challenge is such a great way to escalate things and to make a man think differently about you.
You don't want a man to think about you in a friendly way. You want him to think about you beyond friendship. For beyond friendship, you need to be desired physically and sexually and thought of beyond just a friend.
Learn the Art of Flirting (Non-Sexual)
This is very simple but very difficult for women to do. Flirting is an art. There are many types of flirting a woman can do. But to simplify this, let's say there is sexual flirting and then there is non-sexual flirting.
Why You Should Avoid Sexual Flirting
I'm not a fan at all of sexual flirting. I think it puts you in the wrong category in a man's mind.
Once a woman is sexually flirting, like touching a man's thighs or talking dirty with a man too early on in the dating process, I think you're going to become a booty call. You're definitely not going to be seen as wife material because you're activating his short-term dating strategy.
You're not activating his long-term mating strategy, which is to find a wife. You're going to be about sex.
Master Non-Sexual Flirting Instead
My recommendation is to become a really good non-sexual flirt. I teach this inside Elevate, which is currently enrolling. I have an entire training on the art of flirting because I think women tend to be too serious, dense in their heads and afraid of coming across as too forward or too slutty
No dignified woman wants to come across that way. But flirting is truly the thing that differentiates you from the woman who is a friend to the woman that is desirable.
If you're wanting to show your interest in a guy, flirt and learn the art of flirting.
Flirting Is a Universal Skill
Non-sexual flirting is not just limited to men. It is an art that you practice personally on everyone. If you feel like you find it hard to flirt, you need to understand that this is a skill and you can learn it. Any woman can learn it. I learned it and so can you.
I teach this as just one training inside my Elevate program. Inside Elevate, I basically work with women from 28 to 70 years old, single women looking to attract the one and to do it in the shortest amount of time.
It's my signature group coaching program where you can access me and my entire team of coaches. It's an elite, highly personalized service.
Start Your Transformation Today
If you're ready to dive deeper into these concepts and completely transform how you show up in love, I'd love to support you. Through my best relationship and dating coaching methodology, I've helped countless women create the passionate, devoted partnerships they've always dreamed of.
The journey begins with my comprehensive Feminine Energy Checklist, a practical guide that will help you embody these principles daily and watch your relationship transform before your eyes. This checklist contains 35 powerful reminders and practices that will help you show up as your most magnetic, irresistible self.
My strategies are practical and straightforward to implement versus having to meditate for 40 minutes or listen to long theoretical outdated lectures on feminine energy.
26-30, F