I didn't realize how rude, mean, harsh I was to myself
until I imagined someone else standing in front of me saying the things that I say to myself, to me.
Like if someone stood in front of me and said, what is wrong with you? Why can't you be faster? You're such an idiot. I would be in shock. My heart would drop. I would be so stressed and I would probably want to cry. But when it comes from your own mind, you don't think it's that bad because you get so used to it.
It starts to feel normal and that's the scary part. But your body still goes into the stress mode. And all this matters so much because your brain doesn't know the difference between you attacking yourself and someone else attacking yourself. So you end up living your life in this low grade stress mode all the time. And the more critical you are with yourself, the worse it is. And then I wonder why I'm stressed all the time. It's because I talked to myself like a piece of crap.
So that's something I really need to work on. Because I need to heal the environment that I'm healing in. And that includes the voice in my head.
Like if someone stood in front of me and said, what is wrong with you? Why can't you be faster? You're such an idiot. I would be in shock. My heart would drop. I would be so stressed and I would probably want to cry. But when it comes from your own mind, you don't think it's that bad because you get so used to it.
It starts to feel normal and that's the scary part. But your body still goes into the stress mode. And all this matters so much because your brain doesn't know the difference between you attacking yourself and someone else attacking yourself. So you end up living your life in this low grade stress mode all the time. And the more critical you are with yourself, the worse it is. And then I wonder why I'm stressed all the time. It's because I talked to myself like a piece of crap.
So that's something I really need to work on. Because I need to heal the environment that I'm healing in. And that includes the voice in my head.
