i wonder what brings us back to this place..
the regular users that is.. despite the small ghost town community .. i guess it has a coziness
it's not really true that i'm not at liberty to say what i want because i am.. i just have a fear of judgment
but what's a higher judgment than G-d himself who knows all anyway..
i know some people don't believe in God and quite frankly i'm inclined to block those types .. i have more respect for terrorist who at least believe in a God than in unbelievers 😒
but i have run amuck in my vice.. been running for years i guess till i gave up.. but was still stuck in my habit.. a door it was i guess to something kept open.. a hope
but was it a false one?
on the verge of the dawn of hope i was warned and i took heed to the warning.. the only thing worse than the threat of death to one's self is a threat to one's loved ones.. real or imagined
and there it was.. written 🤐
to put it bluntly i ran away to have a baby with someone but read a horrible chapter in the bible and took it personally and dropped my pursuit
just a deep longing, an insanity maybe.. a dream of a non existent child .. wanting .. idk normal abnormal.. craziness..
in four days it's our 21st anniversary and i sit and stare at the side of his face.. his beautiful face.. i love every angle of his face
i guess despite every rock of the relationship there's something or other that keeps it together despite everything pushing pulling it apart
screaming hostility emptiness.. it fades away.. there remains no effort to fight.. a lull in existence but also an appreciation for what is and isn't
when i was younger i wanted more but then i was told i was undeserving and why.. the truth hurts, it bites but it is what it is 🥹
my eyes burned for days.. i cried of 💔 i left a small number of people in the dust.. thoughtless
do i remember you.. yes.. though some were a forgotten number in the passage of time and desperation
things unforgivable to others
people are dying out in the world for less.. there was a time that..
since when have we sunk to this? empty longing a desire to go out there in another dimension not this
but the reality is cowardice and an insane drive to do irrational things
they say the truth sets you free.. but some refuse to face it.. to hide from the music instead of dancing to the tune.. 😒
i said all that to say things i couldn't say outright because they were and are offensive and wrong on multiple lvls
to just bluntly say what i was thinking would bring scathing judgment which is maybe what i need but i hold my peace instead..
but should i? 😏
one wonders the cost of words and acts and inaction as well.. 😒
it's not really true that i'm not at liberty to say what i want because i am.. i just have a fear of judgment
but what's a higher judgment than G-d himself who knows all anyway..
i know some people don't believe in God and quite frankly i'm inclined to block those types .. i have more respect for terrorist who at least believe in a God than in unbelievers 😒
but i have run amuck in my vice.. been running for years i guess till i gave up.. but was still stuck in my habit.. a door it was i guess to something kept open.. a hope
but was it a false one?
on the verge of the dawn of hope i was warned and i took heed to the warning.. the only thing worse than the threat of death to one's self is a threat to one's loved ones.. real or imagined
and there it was.. written 🤐
to put it bluntly i ran away to have a baby with someone but read a horrible chapter in the bible and took it personally and dropped my pursuit
just a deep longing, an insanity maybe.. a dream of a non existent child .. wanting .. idk normal abnormal.. craziness..
in four days it's our 21st anniversary and i sit and stare at the side of his face.. his beautiful face.. i love every angle of his face
i guess despite every rock of the relationship there's something or other that keeps it together despite everything pushing pulling it apart
screaming hostility emptiness.. it fades away.. there remains no effort to fight.. a lull in existence but also an appreciation for what is and isn't
when i was younger i wanted more but then i was told i was undeserving and why.. the truth hurts, it bites but it is what it is 🥹
my eyes burned for days.. i cried of 💔 i left a small number of people in the dust.. thoughtless
do i remember you.. yes.. though some were a forgotten number in the passage of time and desperation
things unforgivable to others
people are dying out in the world for less.. there was a time that..
since when have we sunk to this? empty longing a desire to go out there in another dimension not this
but the reality is cowardice and an insane drive to do irrational things
they say the truth sets you free.. but some refuse to face it.. to hide from the music instead of dancing to the tune.. 😒
i said all that to say things i couldn't say outright because they were and are offensive and wrong on multiple lvls
to just bluntly say what i was thinking would bring scathing judgment which is maybe what i need but i hold my peace instead..
but should i? 😏
one wonders the cost of words and acts and inaction as well.. 😒
