Just threw myself in bed after finishing work and here are some of today's thoughts.

I am soft and feminine until I am not.

At some point while preforming a medical procedure, I realized how few people can do what I do, without breaking under pressure.

I realized it is gruesome, not something even most men can handle...it is gruesome and in many ways makes you feel like you're losing a great part of your childlike nature.

I found myself wondering if I would ever date someone who has my capabilities and the answer is NO. I would never do so.

I am impressed by my partner's willingness to take risks. I stood during that procedure and I definitely felt like my job role , unfortunately, means I am/would be at an advantage in many situations.
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Granpa used to say hardships come, hardships go..no shedding tears while you stand again. And if the sky is falling, it is a chance for little Miram to reach to it for a while. It is your turn.

I miss my grandpa.

Goodnight.