how can i 'scrap' this persistent idea or worry because of how my life has gone
i get this persistent idea or worry, that i've been denied the relationships or interactions i wanted in life because i'm late 40s now and never found any relationships, never had a girlfriend i wanted and never had the interactions with girls or women i was attracted to?
and sometimes i even get the idea that i've been 'prevented' from getting that? that, women or girls i wanted to interact with and meet and have relationships or friendships with in my life, were told to not associate or interact with me?
so to break it down; i'm white british and are only interested in meeting or socializing with white girls or women....but, apart from women in my own family, i've never met or socialized with the girls or women i would've wanted to meet, ever in life? which is white british girls.....and i get this obsessive fixation that i've been denied that? or prevented from having that? or as i mentioned, those types of women have been told to ' not interact with me'?
like a conspiracy, where a lot of people or someone powerful or influential, has somehow prevented the women i'm attracted to from contacting me??.....i can't prove these things i suspect at all, but just suspected them, like having irrational fixated beliefs?
my loved ones and my elderly mother when i've spoken about it to them have said ;
and their reassurance helps me, but these fixated ideas come back at times, because i can't get over that i've gone through my life alone, solitary without ever having the interactions i wanted? to me that's pretty devastating.
what do you think? and how can i come to terms with the huge disappointment and bitterness at how my life has gone?
and sometimes i even get the idea that i've been 'prevented' from getting that? that, women or girls i wanted to interact with and meet and have relationships or friendships with in my life, were told to not associate or interact with me?
so to break it down; i'm white british and are only interested in meeting or socializing with white girls or women....but, apart from women in my own family, i've never met or socialized with the girls or women i would've wanted to meet, ever in life? which is white british girls.....and i get this obsessive fixation that i've been denied that? or prevented from having that? or as i mentioned, those types of women have been told to ' not interact with me'?
like a conspiracy, where a lot of people or someone powerful or influential, has somehow prevented the women i'm attracted to from contacting me??.....i can't prove these things i suspect at all, but just suspected them, like having irrational fixated beliefs?
my loved ones and my elderly mother when i've spoken about it to them have said ;
' i've never been denied or prevented by anybody, nobody has prevented that from happening, that it's my own poor mental health and behaviour which prevented me meeting the girls of my desire ' ?
and their reassurance helps me, but these fixated ideas come back at times, because i can't get over that i've gone through my life alone, solitary without ever having the interactions i wanted? to me that's pretty devastating.
what do you think? and how can i come to terms with the huge disappointment and bitterness at how my life has gone?
46-50, M
