This post may contain Mildly Adult content.
Mildly AdultUpset
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Why do these things just boil up in me at any old time?

It's 2:30am and I should be asleep. Had a sudden surge of resentment from a year and a half ago when I fell in the front yard, suffering from vertigo, unable to get up and barely able to crawl.

I laid there for so long that ants started crawling on me.

Two dumbass neighbors even drove by and either didn't notice me waving for help or didn't care. One's windows were too tinted to tell and the other one, I just didn't get a good look at. Judging by how oblivious people generally are, even while driving 2-4 ton vehicles, I assume both of them just didn't notice me waving at them and shouting.

A few days later, I brought it up briefly near my dad, who must have heard about it from my mom, and he basically told me I was an idiot for ending up in that situation. That felt good.

I didn't even take the time to explain to him that I was the only one home and needed important doctors' notes from my car. I couldn't do without them. I had little choice but to try to get them myself.

But there's never any convincing him about anything, ever.

There was also unfair treatment in the following days from coworkers who didn't give a shit about anything except someone else doing their work for them.

But I can only type for so long at this hour.

People just suck. I feel like my life is always a series of fighting through needs that aren't met while people ignore me or blame me for them.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
class · F
All those moments reinforced the same theme: being left alone with needs unmet. It might help to avoid 2-3 AM, when thoughts tend to be stronger in the quiet surroundings. the more you connect, the more you’ll dwell on what happened. Feeling ignored or blamed is worth reflecting on, and you’re right to feel hurt by others’ inattentiveness or failure to realize you needed help. Some people responded poorly-seeing someone lying on the ground waving should be recognized as a distress signal, though maybe it happened too fast. Briefly labeling the emotion, like “I’m feeling hurt” or “angry,” can lessen its intensity. Postponing rumination by scheduling a 20-30 minute “worry time” later can prevent middle of the night spirals. Noting even small interactions that counter the belief that “everyone ignores me,” can be grounding. Carrying emergency contacts or cards for urgent needs, and asking neighbors to check in, might also be helpful.
@class Hugs
class · F