Caring
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The only thing that matches being truly cared about is having someone to truly care about.

I wish I had money and influence, and consequently the leverage to extend my care for someone in a tangible way.
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Miram · 31-35, F
You already care for me in a tangible way.

And you can strive, bit by bit, for more money and influence. I don't really think you're incapable of it. But you have to also find a way to manage what comes with that pursuit. And find out if that type of suffering is worth the fight.

There are people who have been able to change the world by shedding not acquiring. Plenty and endless paths, and they all can be valid.
@Miram What comes with that pursuit is executive function AKA being an adult, having a schedule, not self sabotaging. I'm not good at that. Unfortunately it's necessary in order to survive and not be seen as a leech or become homeless in this country.

But I'm glad you know I care for you.