i worry what if something happens to me before i have a chance to catch up on all i have missed out on
i feel strongly, after the difficult adult life i've had of enduring mental health problems and experiencing a lot of trauma and missing out by never having an official girlfriend, i did have lots of sexual flings in my earlier youth with girls, so didn't completely miss out, but still did miss out on life and meeting people quite bad....i've spent most of my adult life, my twenties & thirties by myself with just my mum and dad for support......so that to me is missing out bad.
but now i live alone in a flat, my parents who are elderly, live far away...and i have to cope and get on with it by myself, i have a bit of mental health support around me now.....but i have a few physical health problems....i manage type 2 diabetes ( which ive been managing well in recent years)....but ive gained weight again, and not been to the gym in over 9 months........plus i'm waiting for a heart examination at the hospital, but im waiting for the support from mental health services to help me get to the hospital, because i can't get there by myself because of my paranoia and severe anxiety in public places.......i had ecg a few times months ago and it was found my heart had an extra beat......so i have to go to the hospital for an examination about it.
i worry a lot in general and overthink too.....and i was worrying recently about ' what if i pass away before i have the chance to catch up on what i missed out on?......ie meeting women and having fun with them and sex etc?' - because that's all i want really badly.......i had a taste of that in my youth, sex with girls and i really enjoyed it......but i fear deeply ;
' what if something happens to me before i can experience that again after missing out and waiting a lifetime for that to happen?'
i'm in my late 40s now, i'll be 48 next February.........can anyone help with this please?
but now i live alone in a flat, my parents who are elderly, live far away...and i have to cope and get on with it by myself, i have a bit of mental health support around me now.....but i have a few physical health problems....i manage type 2 diabetes ( which ive been managing well in recent years)....but ive gained weight again, and not been to the gym in over 9 months........plus i'm waiting for a heart examination at the hospital, but im waiting for the support from mental health services to help me get to the hospital, because i can't get there by myself because of my paranoia and severe anxiety in public places.......i had ecg a few times months ago and it was found my heart had an extra beat......so i have to go to the hospital for an examination about it.
i worry a lot in general and overthink too.....and i was worrying recently about ' what if i pass away before i have the chance to catch up on what i missed out on?......ie meeting women and having fun with them and sex etc?' - because that's all i want really badly.......i had a taste of that in my youth, sex with girls and i really enjoyed it......but i fear deeply ;
' what if something happens to me before i can experience that again after missing out and waiting a lifetime for that to happen?'
i'm in my late 40s now, i'll be 48 next February.........can anyone help with this please?
46-50, M