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I came home to rest because I'm sick and very sleep deprived. I found myself in a house where everyone looks like they're looking for a fight. Brother doesn't speak to me because I pointed out that he does the same thing he was yelling at another sibling for. My sister seems depressed and is always looking to fight. I try to encourage her to go back to school and do things that I know will get her out of where she is but she refuses. My mother keeps telling me about how unkind my father is towards her and how he's been badmouthing her family... ,how he has unrealistic expectations from them, and how selfish and previously physically abusive he is, and how he hides money from her, has been swearing a lot and acting crazy when it's only the two of them together. I know he's... not sur, but he acts differently when we're around. He acts when we're around. I know that. And I've seen him hit her when I was a kid and she told me at a very young age that he was 'unkind' to her on their wedding night and for weeks after. He's also threatened to kick me out of the house in the past when I was unemployed and now expects me to take on his financial and emotional responsibilities as the head of the family. I think they will be the end of me if this goes on
I already have a fever and a really bad cold, my throat is sore, my tongue is swollen, I look beat up from sickness and tiredness and this is making me feel worse. Yesterday I asked if there was anything I could drink to help with my throat. She said ''don't know but if you think of anything, let me know and I'll see if I have it'' and went back to watching reels when I was breathing with difficulty. It's her right and am an adult but I felt so sad and so motherless, like I expected my mom to tell me what to drink/gargle with in order to feel better because this what mothers do ? I just wanted some motherly comfort but now my heart is aching and I'm looking forward for this weekend to be over
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73searching73 · 51-55, M
You are not wrong to wish for a mother’s comfort.

You clearly care about your family members, love them. The ones you love will continue to be in your life, in some way, shape, or form, long into the future (whether you like it or not).

But it can be a self-healing move to carve out mental space for yourself. Physical space, too, if you have the financial means to get your own place. But either way, it can be good to focus on your own world. A world of your own. Your life, your present, your future. Put your past on hold for a while. Participate in family matters that you must participate in, but take time to focus on your own dreams, aspirations, interests.

Your siblings and parents are going to do what they are going to do, with or without you.

Meanwhile, take a break from the pain and emotional confusion by focusing on yourself for a while, in a positive way. Find something that makes you feel happy, or at least not miserable. Focus on that for a while. The rest will happen as it will.
dpoet · 36-40, M
how old are you?
@dpoet I have left but I'm not far enough
dpoet · 36-40, M
@nothereforpeople get further away?
@dpoet I'm trying

 
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