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I had an epiphany.

When we say someone is easy to love, it's because we already love them.

But then it makes me have to ask, when we know someone is hard to love and even when we ourselves have a hard time loving them but still stick around, low and high waters be damned, what is that?

The thing I do not dare to open up about is the thing I want to clear my head about.

Love is something that makes me want to run if only because it is so sacrificial, and in my experience, makes one give even things of past, present and future that he/she is not willing to sacrifice or lose at all.

Many things are done in the name of this so called great love. Hurting others, even one self. It brings up things like bitterness, resentment and hate when one is forced to give up what goes against one's heart to give up.

So then, why fight for love?

Sometimes, I wonder if caring is enough. But keeping on giving because it's right and keeping yourself hurting because there are times when you want to stop but you have to ignore what you feel so you could keep giving...is it plain stubbornness or foolishness or still love?

It really makes me ask this arrogant question. If that is love, then why even want it?

(P.S. A reminder that love isn't limited to the romantic kind, and comes in many forms. Family, work, friendship, social, etc.)
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Real love is an ability that sticks with a person even through relationships and heartbreak. It's the ability to act loving even when one doesn't feel loving.
Casheyane · 31-35, F
@SinlessOnslaught That sort of acting is honestly what makes one ask if it ain't hypocrisy.

Being loving that others live in comfort, protected and loved. Doing it because it is right. Hurting yourself that you feel used but can't stop because you made the decision to love.

Is that love or lying to yourself? That sort of acting to the point where you forget how to live without giving.

Does it still honor what love should be?
@Casheyane At some point the decision has to be made to love oneself, too. That means cutting ties when necessary, without intentionally hurting anyone.
Casheyane · 31-35, F
@SinlessOnslaught There is no line, no choice to make.

That is the reality of this thing that we so highly look upon. If it isn't infinite, if it isn't a test of patience, you would not even really be able to call it love.

The simplest word is prioritization. When you decide to give love, you can't expect balance. Because your kind of love is different from theirs. Your prioritization may not be the same as theirs.

But when you put someone's happiness and well being above your own, that is where the sacrifice begins. That is the time it becomes the so called love. It is exactly the point of what I just wrote.

People get to choose between self-love or loving others. To give up one means you've made your decision to prioritize the other.

Religion speaks of it too. But many I would think would choose themselves.
So it gets written to love others as you love yourself.

But how often does that really happen? The line between right and wrong. The line between being kind to yourself and to others... that is the puzzle I've got no answer for. Not at this moment.
@Casheyane It's often a blurry line. Don't rush yourself.
Casheyane · 31-35, F
@SinlessOnslaught There is no rushing when you're stuck in there LOL XD

Why do you think I'm even pondering on this?
@Casheyane
that is the puzzle I've got no answer for. Not at this moment.