Early morning August 29, 2025
I'm editing further thoughts above the already typed stuff. There's a missing link to the listening palate, something dumb, goofy and sensational according to a sizeable amount of people, the Litrpg series Dungeon Crawler Carl, 7 books, sanity preserved in a fun and funny way.
The only bad thing about dad sleeping is that i have to keep checking if he's still breathing.
He's so out of it, and then tells me really out of left field things, like relatives in Dachau??!!
I think he ends up sleeping in a seated position because of his shortness of breath when stretched out.
He alternates between the resting sitting back, to a sulking forward where he often makes vomiting sounds but not actually vomiting.
When i first came down thinking i'd get some more sleep still he starts talking non-stop bonkers style about sitting in my chair and falling off and rolling around on the floor and he says in a joking manner that he didn't know whether he was dreaming or not.
When he tells me things like that, they stick in my mind and i dwell on them too much, and since forever he's always been annoying to me in what he says, but where those good times i'd say only 60% was out of the ordinary bothering, these days 97% is deeply disconcerting, and worrying. 3% is deeply felt too, when he shows that he's in his right mind. I treasure that 3% dearly.
So, that brings me to the solitary realm, and it is solitary -- the spooky season modus operandi
The Spooky M.O. this year is alternating between True Crime and Lovecraft material.
1. True Crime -- i don't want to be desensitized to this stuff, to be unsettled is a very good sign, tonight i've come across a case that i wasn't up for, compared to that the Manson Family is like a banal sitcom.
I'm conflicted inwardly about sharing anything i find out about in TC here, like my domestic dynamic 97% of it is deeply unsettling, and 3% shows the noble character traits.
2. Lovecraft -- he's not without some negatives also, but this whole kind of horror he is a major component of is quite the thing, and bounced off and into from the deeply disturbing TC part is almost like a wholesome and goofy Muppets entertainment.
I've come to a necessary end to my update here, i could go on and on and i have to get back to my spooky M.O., which i'll just devote one more paragraph.
The spooky m.o. cannot be the only thing, there is to be little sessions with serious and helpful kind of literature, without such times, i would be the worse for wear. .... and of course, i love having little sessions with you all, there's not a large number of people i gravitate to, but there are a nice group of folks that give off a pleasant aroma, making visits here like going to a flower shop in gay ole Paris, and as a Slayer group plays on one side of a street, and on the other a campy garage band plays funky beats, i ought to make it more brief, take time to smell the roses, gardenias and all those other flower names as like pressing oranges on a bald head in which to insert as much vitamin c into his brain, which the feeling of bones moving all along is a symptom of whatever is going on health-wise ---- i kind of leaned into that one, that's a little detail in one of the TC cases --- The Sacramento Vampire, don't search it if you want to retain what little love of humanity you still have. ✌🌜
The only bad thing about dad sleeping is that i have to keep checking if he's still breathing.
He's so out of it, and then tells me really out of left field things, like relatives in Dachau??!!
I think he ends up sleeping in a seated position because of his shortness of breath when stretched out.
He alternates between the resting sitting back, to a sulking forward where he often makes vomiting sounds but not actually vomiting.
When i first came down thinking i'd get some more sleep still he starts talking non-stop bonkers style about sitting in my chair and falling off and rolling around on the floor and he says in a joking manner that he didn't know whether he was dreaming or not.
When he tells me things like that, they stick in my mind and i dwell on them too much, and since forever he's always been annoying to me in what he says, but where those good times i'd say only 60% was out of the ordinary bothering, these days 97% is deeply disconcerting, and worrying. 3% is deeply felt too, when he shows that he's in his right mind. I treasure that 3% dearly.
So, that brings me to the solitary realm, and it is solitary -- the spooky season modus operandi
The Spooky M.O. this year is alternating between True Crime and Lovecraft material.
1. True Crime -- i don't want to be desensitized to this stuff, to be unsettled is a very good sign, tonight i've come across a case that i wasn't up for, compared to that the Manson Family is like a banal sitcom.
I'm conflicted inwardly about sharing anything i find out about in TC here, like my domestic dynamic 97% of it is deeply unsettling, and 3% shows the noble character traits.
2. Lovecraft -- he's not without some negatives also, but this whole kind of horror he is a major component of is quite the thing, and bounced off and into from the deeply disturbing TC part is almost like a wholesome and goofy Muppets entertainment.
I've come to a necessary end to my update here, i could go on and on and i have to get back to my spooky M.O., which i'll just devote one more paragraph.
The spooky m.o. cannot be the only thing, there is to be little sessions with serious and helpful kind of literature, without such times, i would be the worse for wear. .... and of course, i love having little sessions with you all, there's not a large number of people i gravitate to, but there are a nice group of folks that give off a pleasant aroma, making visits here like going to a flower shop in gay ole Paris, and as a Slayer group plays on one side of a street, and on the other a campy garage band plays funky beats, i ought to make it more brief, take time to smell the roses, gardenias and all those other flower names as like pressing oranges on a bald head in which to insert as much vitamin c into his brain, which the feeling of bones moving all along is a symptom of whatever is going on health-wise ---- i kind of leaned into that one, that's a little detail in one of the TC cases --- The Sacramento Vampire, don't search it if you want to retain what little love of humanity you still have. ✌🌜
46-50, M