A Better World.

Yeah, I know you judged me. That's what people do. I wonder how many more will follow without even knowing me.

@Conscience: yes I did judge you, and maybe quickly, but even so after considerable interaction where I tried to understand why you would encourage someone to traumatise someone online. You did not accept that someone can be bullied online and you did not accept that I would care about someone enough to call out when I see them being harassed.
I was more bothered by people encouraging the troll, like yourself, rather than the troll. All the others that I spoke to on that post accepted that they didn't want to be a part of someone trolling or bullying another.
I know I didn't make a difference to the troll, or to you, but I know my actions made a huge difference to the girl he bullied and to some of the others who interacted on that post.
You might think it is better to ignore trolls and look the other way, but in virtual life or real life I live by the same standard. If I see someone in need I help.

@InOtterWords: How you see things isn't all there is. I understand this view you have of me. It makes sense to judge me when you think that. It also makes sense that other people would do the same when they believe you. If only people people understood that one side of an argument is one side of an argument.

@Conscience: everyone else, but you, who supported the troll agreed they didn't want to encourage someone who was distressing a rape victim. It wasn't about one side of an argument, they realised that their part in the trolling was adding to this girls distress and they wanted no part of it.
You did not, instead you thought it hilarious that the troll will do something like that and then thought me stupid for calling out on the behaviours that I found unsavoury.

You call out in this post about people not being considerate, having empathy, or sharing struggles, but where was your consideration and empathy when I told you that this post was directly about abusing a rape victim about her rape, or when the troll was telling me that my rapist didn't do a good enough job. Like I said I live by the same standard online as in real life and if I see behaviours I don't like I will say. I thought the troll was bad, but those that stand by and laugh at someone else's pain are just as nasty.

And in answer to your post, I am someone who cares for others, I don't just give money, but I give time and my experience back. Apart from this last year when my own health has been bad, I have volunteered and worked in my local community, whilst holding down a stressful job, whilst raising a family, whilst caring for elderly parents. This is not a brag, I don't ask anyone to recognise my efforts I do this because I like to make a difference. And in my work I come across many many others that do the same. I am fortunate to live in a first world country where there is opportunity to volunteer and to donate domestically and abroad, I also recognise that many people in my country do volunteer and donate.

@InOtterWords: I didn't think that was hilarious, again, you assume so much about me. I was trying to teach people to not let words on a screen that they have complete control over bother them. I believe real life and the internet are two different things and should be handled differently. I get it though. You think they need to be handled the same way, so now because we disagree, you have a problem with me and you judged me. It happens. I don't believe you care for others, I believe you judge people, and care for the ones who fit your standards.

@Conscience: ok maybe not hilarious, but to respond to the troll's post on trolling rape with a good job and a thumbs up was showing the troll and everyone else reading the post that you supported them

if I was so judgemental of you I would have blocked you straight out, and yes last time I may have sworn at you but I did have a good friend extremely distressed and crying over what was being done to her, I am not normally abusive.

From my experience, people show their true nature online, they cannot hide who they are, you can see from the way a person posts if they are genuinely good or if they are fake people.

I don't care whether you believe whether or not I care for others, or what you think of me. I am mostly a tolearnt person but I am intolerant of few things, rape, racism, child abuse and bestiality. And that includes the joking of these things whether it be in real life or online. If my standards are that I disagree with those that troll and support the trolls of these victims then yes I am judgemental.

But that does not influence my care of others, when I give blood I don't say it cannot be given to a racist, or when I have gone to the soup kitchen I don't ask them if they have raped someone before I offer them food, and even if you turned round and said I need help can you help me I am not so bitter, I would ask you how?

@InOtterWords: I said that only half serious. It got serious when everyone got on my case though. You see, that's what judgmental people do. They make unnecessary problems for everyone. You don't have to block me to demonstrate your ability to judge.

People show what they choose to online more than anywhere else. Deception from others is one of the biggest warnings we get while using the internet. Maybe that has to do with how different it is from real life?

I know you don't care about what I have to say. You've made up your mind about me. I can't change that. I wonder why you're still here? I know you get off on being a good person in your eyes, but what you've done to me is judge me simply because I handle things differently from you online. I wasn't the troll, I didn't agree with it, and I believe it was wrong, BUT, I can appreciate how this troll teaches people about the differences between the internet and real life which I choose to acknowledge. You don't and that's fine. We disagree and you know what else? It's okay to disagree with someone.

@Conscience: this is the first time that you have said though that you were half serious and that you believe the troll was wrong and you didn't agree with it. That never came across before now, sometimes it's not what you say but what you don't say that has an impact. Having had no previous interaction with you why would I think that your message was jovial?

I am not normally abusive, but I did have a friend that was a complete wreck because of that post and I was angry on her behalf. And everyone was not in your case, it was just me against you and the troll, then someone came on later and added their opinion, I never ganged up with anyone. Maybe I didn't treat you with any respect, for that I apologise.

You say that I have my mind made up and that you don't understand why I'm still here, maybe because I see your above post and I question not just you but my initial perception of you. I don't label people as good or bad, and I am not so fixed or narrow minded that my view of people cannot be changed. I also don't hate people, no one us worth that amount of negative energy. I am online to not feel as lonely, to make friends and connections and I can only do this by being who I am. Those that I let get close I hope are the same, some haven't been and I let them go, yes it can hurt but I have made some good friends here that have helped me through bad times.

You say "I get off on being a good person in my eyes", quite a cutting statement. Firstly if I don't believe I am good what is my alternative? I am not sanctimonious, I carry so much guilt and self-hatred in me that it consumes me. I do good because yes, selfishly, it makes me feel good to help others. It makes me feel needed and useful in my own pathetic existance. It feels good to be able to give something back. I hate that I have been able yo do much this past year, but I hope in general that my contribution to society is a positive one.

And I am absolutely fine with disagreeing with others, this would be a very boring world if everyone just agreed all the time

@InOtterWords: No it's not the first time I've said those things, anyone who took the time to listen to me and didn't judge me learned I was half serious or how I really felt about the troll. I would have tried to tell you but why bother? You don't care. As I said, you made up your mind because you're that kind of person. I gave up with you, you'll continue to think whatever you like about me. Next time keep it to yourself though. I tried to say something positive about how I felt and you came onto my post to get on my case telling me how "bizarre" it was that I was making a post about empathy because you had already judged me as a horrible person and I needed to know about it again. I guess I'm not allowed to say anything positive because you decided I was something else? Okay? Why do you have to bother me about it? I get it, you don't like me, you made that clear before, is this necessary? Look Otter, you seem kind of surprised? Maybe this wouldn't happen if you didn't jump to conclusions about me? Did you ever think that maybe I should hear someone out first? Did that ever cross your mind? Maybe it did, but I can't even tell if that's what you're trying to do here, all your doing is going on about what a great person you are and how I was wrong. I'm sorry I'm just tired of you and all your friends who heart your posts criticizing me because you think you know me. Leave me alone? You don't have to like me, but I feel awful because you lot are putting me down for trying to be positive just because you think I'm not. Okay! I can't change your mind. Please stop.

@Conscience: in my comment above I apologised to you and yes I should have heard you out first. There were no ifs and buts to my apology it was sincere.

None of my friends have hearted my comments, whoever has done so has no attachment to me. That is not my doing and you cannot hold me responsible for that.

I began this conversation to try and understand you and I did question my own perceptions. I am sorry that this has disturbed you, I did not intend to make you feel victimised, I'm just trying to understand.

Let's leave it here.

@InOtterWords: I'm just distressed right now because I'm dealing with personal issues in my life. I know that's no excuse. I stopped to reread your post and saw a bit more I missed because of my emotions. It somehow makes it worse that it wasn't a friend of yours who hearted your responses, just some other random who wanted to jump on that bandwagon to judge someone. Anyways I see now that your previous post wasn't more crisitizing or self-praise. Sorry about not properly looking at it. I'm just at my wits end because your not the first to come back at me for my controversial opinion on that post with the troll. I remember Chantou contacting my friend behind my back trying to make her hate me because she was another one who decided I was a bad person. I see now you're a little more fair and I thank you for that. At least some people can find it in themselves to tolerate and listen even when we handle things differently and have different views. I respect you for being able to do that. Again, thank you for not being like most others.

@Conscience: I am genuinely sorry you are distressed and I am sorry that I may have contributed to that. And I stick by my words if there is something I can do to help tell me how.

I'm sorry someone tried to involve your friends, that is not fair. I hope actually this whole episode can be put behind us and that in future we can maybe treat each other a little more mutual respect.

@InOtterWords: Thank you! I'm sorry that my behavior wasn't at its best either back there. It seems we were both out of character. If you have any interest in asking or talking me about something, I'm around too. :) Absolutely! I can move on from this. A few of you haven't let me, and I hope that lady who tried to get some of the people I care about involved can also let go of all this perceived negativity, but at least there's good people around still willing to sort out misunderstandings like this. You've got a friend in me.