I am doing it to myself.

I have had trouble sleeping for years. I think it actually originated in my childhood when my bedroom was the room everyone had to walk through to get to the bathroom. I have actually sleep-talked to several people, and I used to push and shove my ex-husband when we were asleep (believe it or not, that's not the reason for the divorce). If I don't take melatonin and magnesium glycinate, I wake up multiple times a night with anxiety. I once mentioned this problem to someone who had a long time in a recovery program, and he said maybe I had a guilty conscience. I was in my early 20s then, and couldn't think of why I might have one that was that bad. But since, my memory has dredged up all kinds of things I have done and am not proud of. I try not to dwell on that stuff, and I do pray and ask God for forgiveness, but it seems sometimes the thoughts come out of nowhere. What does one do? I sought treatment for my illnesses for years, but I am done with that. The resources I had really didn't help and I don't have the energy to start again and again any more. Also, I don't want to take a chemical approach when there are natural remedies, or at least alleviation, available. Again, I am venting, when this is not the precise forum for that. I get stuck in my own head, so this will happen. Don't say you weren't warned, lol!