is crying necessary to move on?

@Pretzel I felt so much pain but never did I feel the need to cry it out. It’s odd because I was a big crier previously

@aimei not everybody does. You recover the way works for you

@Pretzel I think you’re right. I felt mostly confusion and guilt rather than sadness.

@aimei why?

@Pretzel confusion because I didn’t realise at the time that I was hurting someone and bringing previous feelings into a new experience. Guilt because I never got to show them that I was remorseful for my behaviour - some of which is hard to admit to myself.

@aimei oh. Ouch that does make it difficult

@Pretzel speaking to them again would be dangerous for me too. I think part of me is deeply in love with them (or perhaps the idea of them or feeling they gave me)

@aimei then you can progress and heal without contact

@Pretzel i did something awful though. it feels wrong to move on without admitting it to them

@aimei maybe write th a letter?

@Pretzel too ashamed for them to know what I’m capable of. i feel like a demonic monster.