Apathy is tasty:P

I genuinely feel little to nothing^^ or everything at all times(rn js nothing) and it’s so weird because like what do you mean im supposed to be able to feel and understand human emotion? I can’t even categorize half my emotions because my mind and emotional regulation is so complex that I don’t just feel “sad” or “happy” I’ll feel a pit in my stomach, and have heavy eyelids, with my heart aching, like there’s a hole in me, but not necessarily sadness. I’ll feel temporary acceptance fueled by an underlying understanding that it won’t last, and I’ll feel like I can get lots of things done at once. Or I’ll feel my blood boil, and my mind overflow with intrusive thoughts, and my chest tightening, the aching in every bone of my body intensifying by the pure rage I feel. Whenever I feel I feel entirely and totally, and whenever I do not, I am empty, I am without emotion. I will forever think in either black and white I can never find a medium.