An example of how secrets complicate things

I missed church yesterday because he was late getting back, the service would have started exactly an hour before he got back and so i wrote a little note saying i can't make it and to give my apologies. He wrote on the same sheet of paper Dad is sad, which meant all was ok he was being a poet and probably knowed it.

But just this evening he said that we gotta do something about me feeling tired all the time, and it just made me think how revealing the gummy truth could clear up a lot of things, but i'm not sure whether it would be worth it.

The gummies give me so much, and there's also the thing about not wanting to go to church, that would be a bigger and more bitter pill for him to swallow. The matters of faith being an extremely sharp dividing line, which then for me thinking my own thoughts brings me to where i wish to be in sweet solitude, weighing matters, reading this and that coming from so and so disciplines, seeing where they rise and fall, and being more dutiful with what i learn, not letting it all slip through my fingers, but to have some sort of organic process of filing it for quick use.

Then with an ordered and calm mind i could explain to people like dad where i'm coming from.