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thoughts of suicide
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Buildingadoor · 26-30, F
[quote]I feel so alone. I don't think I can live like this for much longer. one of my biggest fears is finding out that maybe I really can't relate to anyone. maybe I'm going to stay alone forever. I just want one good friend. who I can feel comfortable around. but finding someone like that is such a complicated thing.
I hate to speak about it. but I'm a very jealous person. not outwardly. I would never go out of my way to make it known or to let that affect other people. but on the inside it kills me everyday. I could be doing fine and if I see or hear someone mention something I can't at this current moment experience I get really really depressed. like someone will mention that they went out with some friends and instantly it'll hit me like a truck. and voices will flood my head. saying things like "whilst they're making memories with friends, you're just sitting in your room being sad" and it's awful. it hurts so much. the emotional pain feels like physical pain. like someone's gripping my heart. I can't deal with it. it's suffocating.[/quote]
I know it doesn't make you feel any better. I'm almost 30, and I feel the same, word for word, how you feel.
I just....need you to know that life goes on, and you can never change the people around you. You just have to protect yourself and be your own best friend. You eventually find happiness in the small things, like getting a job, getting your pay at the end of every month, making purchase with your own money, learning a skill, rescuing an animal, baking a good loaf of bread....etc. It's fleeting....but it means it DOES pass by every now and then...and you live on those moments. That's life.
I hate to speak about it. but I'm a very jealous person. not outwardly. I would never go out of my way to make it known or to let that affect other people. but on the inside it kills me everyday. I could be doing fine and if I see or hear someone mention something I can't at this current moment experience I get really really depressed. like someone will mention that they went out with some friends and instantly it'll hit me like a truck. and voices will flood my head. saying things like "whilst they're making memories with friends, you're just sitting in your room being sad" and it's awful. it hurts so much. the emotional pain feels like physical pain. like someone's gripping my heart. I can't deal with it. it's suffocating.[/quote]
I know it doesn't make you feel any better. I'm almost 30, and I feel the same, word for word, how you feel.
I just....need you to know that life goes on, and you can never change the people around you. You just have to protect yourself and be your own best friend. You eventually find happiness in the small things, like getting a job, getting your pay at the end of every month, making purchase with your own money, learning a skill, rescuing an animal, baking a good loaf of bread....etc. It's fleeting....but it means it DOES pass by every now and then...and you live on those moments. That's life.
kodiac · 22-25, M
Wouldn't it suck though if tomorrow was the day everything took a turn for the better but you checked out and missed it? Your life won't change unless you change . Next time your in the bath think about that instead of how shit life is . If you can do that then the change is happening
originnone · 56-60, M
Welp....I'm about four times your age, and I think about it all the time. I've had some level of depression for almost 50 years. So,...all I will say are two things....1. I get it and would love to hear more from you and 2. don't "attempt" something with bleach or things that will just ruin the life you want to end.
TxOutlawTyler · M
It’s not worth it
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