It's been a while, and I need to get a few things off my chest.

I'm having trouble sleeping because I've had a rough couple of weeks. I had covid, and was prescribed paxlovid so I'm over it now. I ended up missing an anime convention I really wanted to go to, and seeing my friend there. She's the girl I wrote about before. She ended up not going anyways because her cat has feline leukemia, and I want to be there for her. But she doesn't want to rely on me when she has problems because she's super guilty about how she depended on me in the past. Then on top of everything the recent changes to the ogl means my passion project of making my own game is on hold. I hate how every hobby I have is in some way being corrupted by capitalism. I have a dnd event tomorrow I am still excited about because I refuse to let hasbro ruin my fun. My friends are amazing, and always there for me, although I wish I could spend more time with them. Although I know they have lives of their own. So I do feel selfish for feeling lonely sometimes. I know my friends wouldn't call me selfish, but still. Sometimes I just don't feel good enough. My psychologist says I have atychophobia. Which perfectly describes me. Although I am starting to doubt the herbal supliment I'm taking's effectiveness. It works for every day anxiety, but past a certain level it doesn't seem to have an effect.

Sorry for the wall of text, I am sleepy, and I needed somewhere to vent.